#i badly want to draw more of him but who knows how much time i’ll have for THAT this week so. into the main tag it goes!!

[tauforged]

WIP. im doing my part to counteract all the people i see in the tag drawing amir with a much smaller nose than he actually has

[cailinsblog]

The Girl of His Dreams |Connor bedard

Connor bedard x reader

Masterlist

It was an ordinary Wednesday afternoon, or so it seemed to Connor Bedard. He’d just finished a practice with the Chicago Blackhawks and was heading back to his apartment, mentally preparing for the upcoming game that weekend. But something in the air felt different today. Maybe it was the anticipation of his first full season in the NHL or maybe it was because of the event he couldn’t get out of his head—meeting her.

Y/N.

Connor had seen her across the room at a charity event a few weeks ago. She had caught his attention the moment she stepped into the venue, her warm smile lighting up the place. She wasn’t the type to draw attention, but there was something so magnetic about her presence that Connor couldn’t look away. He had been too shy to introduce himself that night, but it didn’t stop him from wondering who she was. The days that followed, Connor found himself thinking about her more than he wanted to admit. She was smart, kind, and beautiful in a way that was so effortless. He wasn’t even sure if he would ever see her again, but that didn’t stop him from hoping.

Then, by some stroke of luck, fate had intervened.

He had seen her again, this time at a coffee shop near the rink. She was sitting by herself, typing away on her laptop, completely unaware that the hockey star she’d caught the eye of was just a few feet away from her. Connor’s heart raced when he realized it was his chance. He had practiced this moment in his head so many times, yet he couldn’t remember the last time he had been so nervous.

As he approached her table, his palms were sweaty, and his nerves were nearly unbearable. He cleared his throat, trying to sound casual. “Excuse me, is this seat taken?”

Y/N looked up, surprised to see him standing there. But her reaction wasn’t what he had feared. Instead of being starstruck or awkward, she just smiled, her eyes soft and inviting. “No, go ahead.”

Connor hesitated for a moment before sitting down, his heart still beating faster than it probably should have been. “I… I’ve seen you before. At the charity event. I’m Connor.”

Her smile grew, and for the first time, Connor felt himself relax. “Y/N,” she replied warmly. “Nice to meet you, Connor.”

The small talk flowed easily after that. They talked about their favorite coffee orders, what brought them to the charity event, and how Connor was adjusting to life with the Blackhawks. But as much as they talked, Connor found himself becoming increasingly aware of how badly he wanted to ask for her number. Every moment he hesitated felt like a missed opportunity.

After what felt like an eternity of talking, Connor finally took a deep breath and said, “I know this is a little forward, but would you want to maybe grab dinner sometime? Or… I could give you my number, and you could text me if you’d like?”

Y/N looked at him for a moment, as if considering her answer. The silence between them felt deafening, and Connor could feel his heart thudding painfully in his chest. But then, to his relief, Y/N smiled again, her eyes twinkling. “I’d like that. I’ll text you,” she said as she jotted down her number on a napkin.

Connor smiled wider than he ever thought he could. His nerves were still there, but now they were replaced with a wave of happiness and excitement that was impossible to ignore.

Over the next few days, the two of them texted back and forth, getting to know each other better. Their conversations were effortless, filled with inside jokes and shared laughter. And then, after a couple of weeks, Connor finally worked up the courage to ask her to one of the Blackhawks games.

“Hey, so I know this is a little last-minute, but would you want to come to the game with me tomorrow? I’ll get you tickets,” he asked over text, his fingers hovering nervously over his phone screen.

Y/N didn’t even wait a minute to respond. “I’d love to!” she replied, and Connor could feel his heart race again.

He picked her up the next evening, his nerves threatening to get the best of him. But when he saw her standing outside her apartment in a cozy sweater and jeans, he forgot all about the nerves. Y/N looked incredible, and as she climbed into the car, she flashed him that same warm smile that had first captured his heart.

At the game, Connor could hardly focus. He was too busy sneaking glances at Y/N, watching the way her eyes lit up when the crowd cheered. It was obvious to him that she wasn’t just interested in the game; she was genuinely excited to be there, to be a part of this part of his life. During a break in play, he handed her a Blackhawks jersey, the number 98 stitched onto the back.

“For you,” he said shyly, his cheeks flushed.

Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise. “Are you sure?”

“Of course,” he said with a grin. “You’re a part of this now, too.”

She accepted it with a laugh, pulling it over her head right there in the stands. “Thanks, Connor. I’ll wear it proudly,” she said, looking down at the jersey.

He couldn’t help but grin, feeling an overwhelming sense of happiness. It was all so surreal—the idea that this amazing woman was now a part of his world.

But little did Y/N know, the real challenge for Connor was yet to come.

The night after the game, Connor found himself tossing and turning in bed. The Blackhawks had just finished a tough game, one where Connor had missed a crucial shot on goal. He knew he was capable of so much more, and the weight of letting his team down started to eat away at him. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he had failed.

So, at 3:00 AM, he did something completely out of character—he got in his car and drove to Y/N’s apartment, convinced that he needed to talk to someone who could help him put his thoughts at ease.

He knocked gently on her door, his nerves back in full force as he waited for her to answer. A few moments later, the door opened, and Y/N stood there, her hair tousled from sleep but her eyes soft with concern when she saw who it was.

“Connor? What’s wrong?” she asked, immediately stepping aside to let him in.

“I just… I don’t know. I had a bad game, and I feel like I’m letting everyone down,” Connor admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

Y/N’s heart ached as she walked toward him, gently taking his hands in hers. “You’re not letting anyone down, Connor. You’re young, and you’re still learning. You have so much potential, and there’s so much more to come. This is just the beginning for you.”

He looked at her, feeling the weight of her words settle into his chest. For the first time that night, the tight knot of anxiety loosened, and he felt a wave of calm wash over him.

Y/N reached up and cupped his face, her thumb brushing against his cheek. “You’re going to do amazing things, Connor. But you need to be kind to yourself, too.”

Connor smiled, the burden lifting off his shoulders. He leaned in, his lips brushing gently against hers in a soft kiss. It was full of warmth and comfort, a kiss that reassured him everything would be okay.

When they pulled away, Connor rested his forehead against hers, feeling safe and secure in her arms.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

Y/N smiled softly. “Anytime, Connor. You’re not alone in this.”

As he held her close, Connor realized that meeting Y/N had been the best thing to ever happen to him. She wasn’t just the girl of his dreams; she was the one who would help him believe in himself when everything seemed overwhelming.

And in that moment, Connor knew that no matter what happened on the ice, he had someone who would always be there for him—someone who would love him not for his successes, but for who he was.

And that, more than anything, was enough.

---

[kikyoupdates]

Otherworldly Attraction ⭑˚🔮⭑ 𝑠𝑒𝑡 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

yandere!jjk x f!reader

yandere, reverse harem, isekai, jujutsu kaisen x fem!reader, slowburn, slowburn yandere

You don't know how or why, but you've been isekai'd into the world of Jujutsu Kaisen. Although your first instinct is to stay away from the plot, you've been blessed with an abnormal amount of cursed energy, and for better or worse, you find yourself sucked into the storyline. You decide that you may as well use your newfound powers for the greater good, and if you're lucky, you might succeed in rewriting some of the characters' fates. But it turns out that your presence in this world is an even bigger deal than you first thought, and soon, everyone wants to make you theirs.

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“Draw two,” Sasaki says. 

“I’ll add another draw two. So now [Name] has to draw four,” Iguchi follows up, throwing another card onto the pile.

You stare at the two cards left in your hand, and then you cast a glance beside you, over to poor Itadori, who’s easily holding more than ten. Part of you wonders if you should be nice and spare him, since he’s clearly suffering more than enough already, but then again, this is Uno. 

Uno is just about as cutthroat as it gets. 

“Sorry,” you mumble, wincing a bit as you add another card onto the pile. “I still have a draw four card left… which means Itadori has to pick up eight cards in total. Also, um, Uno.” 

“No way!” he cries out, and you swear you see his soul leave his body. 

Sasaki throws her head back and starts laughing. “Man, Itadori, you stink at this! I swear you’ve placed last every single time we’ve played. It’s actually kind of impressive how unlucky you can be sometimes.”

“I haven’t lost yet,” Itadori stubbornly refutes, but of course, within the next round, you win, and Sasaki and Iguchi quickly follow suit. 

You watch as Itadori’s shoulders slump in defeat. 

“Fine, now I lost,” he sighs. Most people would probably be pretty frustrated seeing as he’s lost more than four—or is it five games in a row now? In any case, Uno tends to ruin friendships and drive people insane, but since this is Itadori, it only takes a few brief moments of adorable sulking for him to perk up again. “Alright, well, I’m ready for the next round!” 

Iguchi shakes his head. “Sorry, but no more. I’m starting to feel bad about beating you this badly.” 

“Really?” Sasaki blinks. “I’m having the time of my life.” 

“You don’t always have to voice your intrusive thoughts aloud, Sasaki.” 

“We can play more next time,” you say, gently patting Itadori on the shoulder. “And I’m sure you’ll win a bunch then. Enough to make up for all the losses from today.” 

“Doubt it,” Sasaki muses. 

“Sasaki, that’s seriously enough out of you,” Iguchi sighs.

“Alright, fine,” Itadori relents. He quickly glances towards the clock on the wall. “I guess it’s about time for me to head out anyway. It’d be nice to get to the hospital early for a change.” 

More than a week has passed since you first awoke in this world, and during that time, you’ve spent pretty much every day hanging out with Itadori. It’s quite literally a dream come to true to be able to talk to him like this. From the moment you discovered you attended the same school, you were already starstruck, but you figured you would only ever be able to stare at him longingly, from afar. Never in a million years did you imagine that you would actually become his friend. 

Even though your friendship is destined to be cut short, you’re determined to enjoy these blissful moments for as long as you can.

You and Itadori say goodbye to Sasaki and Iguchi, and the two of you walk out of the building together, stopping by a vending machine to grab some canned drinks. You crack your can open and sit down next to him, relishing in the fresh air paired with the cool liquid running down your throat. 

“Visiting your grandpa again, right?” you affirm. 

Itadori takes a big gulp, then nods. “Yeah. Same old, I guess. That’s another reason why it’s nice being part of the Occult Research Club. A lot of people have pestered me to join athletic clubs, but they run way too late. I wouldn’t be able to make it down to the hospital in time for visiting hours. It just works out better this way. Plus, hanging out with those guys is a lot of fun.”

“It’s nice that you always make an effort to visit him,” you say, smiling gently. “I’m sure he really appreciates the time he gets to spend with you. It must mean a lot to him.” 

“Well, I’m the only one he has left, so I’d feel really crappy if he had to spend every day all on his own.”

“Still. Not everyone would make sure to visit every single day, like you do. You’re really kind. You’re a good person, Itadori.” 

You hold your smile as you take another sip of your drink, and you don’t notice that Itadori is staring at you wide-eyed, at least, not until you turn and realize he’s nearly breathing down your neck. 

“Um,” you say, feeling a bit embarrassed by how close he is, “y-yes? Is there… something on my face?” 

Itadori scratches his neck. “Uh. This might sound like a bit of a weird request and all, but I was just wondering if… maybe you wanted to come with me today?” 

“Come with you?” 

“Yeah. To visit my gramps. Since we got to talking and all, I figured maybe he’d like to see someone other than me for a change. To be honest, I don’t think he has much longer left. He’s always snapping at me for visiting him, saying I shouldn’t waste my time going to a depressing place like that, and that I should be spending time in clubs with my friends instead. Maybe he’ll feel better if he sees me bring a friend along. He won’t worry that I’m lonely, like he is.” 

You proceed to just stare at him, and although you didn’t intend for your gaze to be unsettling, Itadori lets out a nervous chuckle and quickly shakes his head.

“Aw, man, what am I even saying? Sorry. That was kind of weird. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to waste your free time going to a hospital, of all places. I didn’t mean to try and pressure you into anything. Just forget what I—” 

“I'll go,” you blurt. “If you're sure you want me to come with you, then yes. I'd be happy to meet your grandpa.”

Itadori blinks rapidly, clearly bewildered, but it doesn’t take long for one of those ridiculously cute smiles to spread across his lips. 

“Awesome! Thanks so much, [Name]. That’s really cool of you. I feel like you’re always the one doing me favors, even though it should be the other way around.” 

“It’s not a favor,” you reassure. You pause, smiling shyly. “I really like spending time with you, after all.” 

Itadori’s smile shows no signs of disappearing, and together, you make the trip to Sugisawa Hospital, where his grandfather is currently admitted. 

You have to admit, you feel a little nervous. His grandfather is his only remaining family, and naturally, you want to make a good impression. Even more so because you know that he doesn’t have much time left. You may not be able to stay by Itadori’s side once the canon plot begins, but at least for now, you’d like to put his grandfather at ease. 

“Don’t worry,” Itadori reassures, smiling brightly. “He might seem like a crabby old man at first, but he’s not actually that bad. I know he’ll be happy to see me with a friend.” 

You smile back and quickly nod, and after a moment’s delay, Itadori slides the door open. 

“...you again, Yuji?” a gruff voice immediately barks out. “I thought I told you to quit wasting your time stopping by. Don’t you have anything better to do? What about your school club?” 

Itadori steps into the room first, rolling his eyes as if this kind of reaction is typical, but once you follow behind him and make your presence known, his grandfather’s expression does a full one-eighty. 

“Oh,” he blinks. “Who’s this now? Yuji, don’t tell me… you finally managed to get yourself a girlfriend? Good going, kid. I didn’t know you had it in you.” 

Itadori blushes a bit, but his embarrassment dissolves once he lets out a sigh. “Cool it, old man. Don’t make me regret bringing her. This is [Name]. She’s my friend. You always seem so worried about me not spending enough time with other people, so I invited her to come, and she accepted. Make sure to be nice to her, okay?” 

“It’s very nice to meet you, sir,” you say, bowing your head. “I hope me being here isn’t an inconvenience.” 

“Itadori Wasuke,” his grandfather introduces. You watch as he sits up a bit straighter in his hospital bed. “Hm. Are you sure you’re not dating Yuji? You seem like you’ve got a good head on your shoulders. You’ve got manners, unlike this brat. Hey, Yuji. Don’t be stupid. You don’t want to lose a pretty girl like her to someone else.” 

Itadori rolls his eyes again. “It might be easier said than done, but try to ignore him. Sometimes I think he just says things because he likes hearing the sound of his own voice.” 

“See that?” Wasuke points. “Do you see how this ungrateful grandson of mine treats me?” 

You bite back a chuckle. Naturally, you’ve already gotten a glimpse of what their relationship is like, well before meeting either of them in person. Wasuke may have a sharp tongue, but it’s clear that he loves his grandson, and he wants him to have a good life. He wants him to be surrounded by people who care for him, and even though Itadori will face plenty of hardship in the future, the fact remains that he will have plenty of friends who are willing to stand by his side. 

“Itadori’s a really good guy,” you say, lacing your hands together and smiling. “Everyone likes him. He’s got a lot of other friends besides me. And I know he’ll make countless more friends from here on out.” 

You pause to gauge their reactions. Itadori is blinking at you, perhaps a bit flustered by your sudden declaration, and Wasuke’s expression hasn’t really changed much, but you notice that his eyes are a bit wider than they were a second ago. 

It’s awfully subtle, but for just a brief moment, a smile rises to Wasuke’s lips. 

“Is that so?” he chuckles. “Thank you for saying that, young lady. I’ll admit that it brings me some relief. I’m glad Yuji isn’t just wasting the best years of his life tending to a sickly old man like me. If he’s got friends like you who speak so highly of him… then I guess he must be doing something right.” 

“No way,” Itadori marvels. “Did you just compliment me, gramps?” 

“Don’t get used to it.” 

“Still! You actually said something kind of nice for a change!” 

“Alright, I take back everything I just said.” 

The two of them go back and forth like this for a while longer, and you’re perfectly content to just stand there and watch. It’d be nice if Wasuke could stick around longer. It’d be nice if Itadori didn’t have to lose the only family he has left. But without a doubt, Wasuke will live on in his heart, and you get the feeling that even when he passes, he’ll be watching over him for a long, long time. 

Wasuke clears his throat. “Seriously, though. If you don’t act fast enough, by the time you know it, [Name] will be dating someone else. Don’t live a life filled with regrets, kid.” 

“...gramps, come on.” 

Uh-oh.

You’re not an idiot, so of course, you know what this means. The wooden box he’s referring to is where Sukuna’s finger was being kept. Up until Itadori found it, that is. 

Which can only mean that soon—like, very soon—the main plotline will begin to unfold. 

You nervously chew on your lip. Truth to be told, you want absolutely nothing to do with that stinky finger. You already know that everything will be fine until the Occult Club members remove the seal, but still. The whole thing just freaks you out, and it’s way too scary to even fathom getting involved in. 

While you struggle to come up with a reasonable excuse, your phone buzzes again. 

Balls. He’s just too goddamn cute. It makes it downright impossible to turn him down. 

With a heavy sigh, you text him that you’re on your way, and you eventually get there, unsurprised to see him standing in front of the same storage box that Fushiguro was frantically searching at the start of the series. 

Itadori grins widely. “Thanks for coming! Here, check this out. Have you ever seen something like this before? It looks kind of supernatural, doesn’t it? I bet Sasaki and Iguchi would go crazy over this.”

He proceeds to hold up a small, visibly old wooden box, and you gulp as he opens it up to reveal the cursed object inside—one of Sukuna’s fingers.

Of course, he doesn’t have the slightest clue what it actually is. It’s completely wrapped up in the seal, making the object inside indiscernible. He probably wouldn’t be grinning ear-to-ear if he knew it was some wrinkly old finger. 

…then again, he swallowed said finger without even hesitating, so maybe he wouldn’t actually care that much. 

“Oh, c-cool,” you say, doing your best to mask your discomfort. “Yeah, it definitely gives off that occult vibe. I’m sure the other club members would like it a lot.” 

“I really wonder what it’s even supposed to be, though.” Itadori frowns as he picks up the sealed finger—much to your horror—and leans in closer to get a better look at it. “Yep, I honestly have no idea. You got any theories, [Name]?”

Without warning, he tosses the cursed object towards you, and out of pure reflex, you lurch forward to catch it. 

The second it falls into your hands, you experience a sense of dread that is almost too nauseating to put into words. 

It’s only for a moment, but the scene before your eyes changes. All of a sudden, you feel something wet sloshing around your feet, and you look down to find crimson liquid, red water, or perhaps—blood. 

You try to choke out a few words, but no sound escapes your lips. You’re understandably disoriented, so your gaze then pans upwards, and to say that you’re terror-struck would still have been an understatement. 

Right there, sitting on top of a pile of skeletons, is Sukuna.

It seems as though you’ve lost the ability to speak, but even if you could speak, you doubt you would have been able to find the right words. You’re too overwhelmed with fear to even think clearly, and right before you collapse onto your knees, just shy of a meltdown, Sukuna knits his brows together and leans forward.

“...who are you?”

You snap out of it with a gasp, only to find that you’re still standing in front of Itadori, who has a worried look on his face. 

“[Name]?” he frowns. “What’s wrong? You don’t look so good. Sorry, did I freak you out by tossing that thing at you? I probably shouldn’t have done that. I get why you’d be startled.” 

He crouches down to pick up the cursed object, which you apparently dropped to the ground without even realizing it. You place a hand over your chest, exhaling shakily. Your heart is pounding relentlessly, and you feel dizzy, like you might pass out at any given moment.

Just now… that was Sukuna’s Innate Domain, right? But how is that even possible? He hasn’t even been incarnated through Itadori yet…

You swallow hard. That finger is completely sealed. Even though the seal is old enough to be torn off by even a regular human—like Sasaki, for instance—Sukuna shouldn’t have appeared before you. Or at the very least, you shouldn’t have been able to see him. 

Maybe it was just a strange vision. Maybe the shock induced some kind of hallucination, or something. None of this makes any sense in the first place. The fact that you’ve been transported into the world of Jujutsu Kaisen.

Itadori places the cursed object back inside the box, then tucks it into his pocket. “Sorry again for catching you off guard like that. Are you okay? You look a bit faint. That was my bad. You even mentioned before that you don’t really like scary stuff, so I should have thought twice before doing that.” 

“I’m okay,” you reassure, and it’s true. You feel perfectly fine now. That sensation of choking up and being overcome with fear is already a thing of the past. It seems more and more likely that it was probably all in your head. 

Yeah.

You must have just been imagining things. 

“Kokkuri, Kokkuri, please tell us… which creature is the school council president weaker than?!” 

Ah. So, it’s finally starting. 

The question is all too familiar, of course, and as you allow the coin to be guided around the board, the word formed is exactly what you expected. 

“What? A fish?” everyone laughs in response, and just like in the canon series, the door abruptly slides open, revealing none other than the student council president himself. 

He starts berating everyone in the room, of course, but you're not really paying attention. 

Instead, you gaze at Itadori with a wistful smile, realizing that after today, you will no longer be part of his life.

There's no place for you by his side. It's simply too dangerous, and even if you were strong enough, you can't risk upsetting the delicate balance of this world. Everything will unfold the way it's supposed to, which means that your role here, albeit small as it was, is over. 

…or is it?

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[seresinhangmanjake]

The One I Want: Part 7

Jake "Hangman" Seresin x plus size!reader

Summary: You’re new in town and some guy named Jake is about to be your roommate. Being skeptical of new people keeps you lonely and uninterested in any entanglements, but Jake is desperate to change that.

Notes/Warnings: traumatic past, trust issues, cursing, very likely typos

Words: 3262

The One I Want Masterlist

Jake Seresin is a puzzle whose pieces, as you have come to see, are already slotted together. You learned tonight that a few of those pieces are worn from being picked at, but they don’t impede his ability to be complete. Jake is beautiful and smart with a well-built confidence and a certain quality that, with enough time, makes you want to open yourself up to him. Everything about him goes together. It all works. Those pieces make Jake the man he is, in all of his perfection. So being in his presence, you want to be who he wants you to be. You want to be just as put together. But you’re not sure you’re strong enough for that. 

“You can trust me,” he says, your hands still clasped together. You glance down at those hands, wondering when exactly he wove his fingers with yours. “I’ll share first if that’ll make it any easier.”

Eyes flicking up, you take in the intensity of the pair staring back at you—the depth within them, the swelling pupils that are pushing the green into a thin ring and drawing you in. They’re too honest, and it hits you like a ton of bricks.

Has anyone else ever looked at you this way? You think the closest instance you can recall involves the man you’d naively fallen in love with who lived in the first town you’d moved to on your own. But his look was a hidden lie discovered far too late. 

You suppose there was a fraction of Jake’s honesty in Millie’s eyes when she expressed her thoughts and told her story so openly. She would probably be willing to attempt understanding you if you offered it. 

You know you’re reaching, though. Trying to grasp at something that isn’t all there to prove that the way Jake is looking at you now is nothing unique. That it’s not special. That he doesn’t make your heart pound or your stomach flutter or cause a tingle to creep up your spine.

But when you consider telling him the truth of your history, you already sense the shame you’ve been living with for years preparing to double in force. And how can you allow that? You don’t need anything else weighing you down. You can’t possibly handle more. Certainly not from him. 

You tear your eyes away from his and aren’t shocked to find that that’s exactly what it feels like—a tear. A tearing that holds so much resistance you can practically hear the slow rip that severs the connection. 

“It’s not that easy,” you whisper.

“It can be,” he says, fingers tightening around yours. “You know how much I want to know you.”

The closing of your throat doesn’t allow you to swallow. An invisible hand is wrapped around your neck, blocking your oxygen, fogging your vision with unwanted tears. Your lip quivers all on its own.

Jake reaches out, lightly pressing his thumb to that lip as if he could stop its trembling. 

Then you shake your head and his thumb disappears. 

Standing, you try to step away, but his hand, still tangled with yours, stops you. You think he’s doing it on purpose, refusing to let you leave until he gets what he wants, but when you look at his face, it’s blank. His eyes stare ahead, the corners of his mouth are turned downward, and he doesn’t seem to feel you prying open his fingers to free your hand. 

His arm drops and slides into his lap, and you take that as a sign to retreat to your bedroom. 

You’re not quite through the door when you hear, “I wish you felt like you could trust me.” His voice is as defeated as his facial expression had shown. Low, dark, raspy. “Whatever it is, it's not going to change how I see you.”

You want to believe him so badly. So much so that, without any effort, you could let it consume you. But you can’t bet on his words. So you close your door the rest of the way. 

—

You’ve thought about him for a week straight, and each of those thoughts has scribbled their way into the notebook you’d sort of kind of—would deny it if anyone asked—stolen from the shop. 

But your little notes on Jake you don’t allow to blend with the chaotic notes of your past. He gets his own pages with words written in neater script. There’s not a single smudge of ink from your hand rubbing the paper in a rush to get your memories down before you forget some of their details. Not a single splotch of liquid black from a pen pressed too harshly onto the paper. No holes from that pen tracing the same words over and over in a fit of dampened anger. Like Jake, your notes on him are neat, and beautiful, and perfect in appearance. 

What they contain, however, is something different: bunches of sentences warring with one another as you try to decide what you’re going to do next. You live with him. You see him every day. You’ll have to interact, which means you’ll have to get over this hump. The only problem is that it may not be a hump Jake wants to get over.

In the months you’ve known him, you’ve never seen him the way he was that night last week. So much was crammed into a couple of hours and it provided you with a fresh image of him—not an image that changed, exactly, but simply an image that developed a new layer. And you liked having that layer of his visible, until it became clear that the spotlight was turning to you so you may develop another layer as well. 

Stepping out of that light meant plenty to you—you knew the message you were sending, even though you felt resistance from every part of you screaming to stay put—but it did more to Jake than you imagined, and that realization came in the form of Jake not speaking to over the past weeks worth of mornings, not smiling, not waiting for you so you could share breakfast. He’s gone before your alarm goes off. 

It only took you ten hours to notice the void that formed in your chest from missing him around you. After ten hours—most of which you spent trying to sleep—you felt awful in more ways than one. Not only were you exhausted and absorbing your dislike of his absence that first morning, but Jake, despite his hurt state, continues to take care of you. 

Those breakfasts he doesn’t wait around to share with you are still available, already made up on a plate with saran wrap keeping them safe in the fridge. The post-its he sticks to the coffee pot to inform you of said breakfasts never fail to have a small smiley face drawn in the corner. And to be fair, he does speak to you a little, but unless it seems to be a matter of life or death, which you haven’t been able to manage, his answers are clipped. Even then, it could be that those short answers are the best he can do for himself rather than anything he is doing for your benefit. With how much Jake talks in general, and with how lively you are used to seeing him, maybe he can’t be one-hundred percent silent no matter how much he wants to. 

Regardless of what it really is, the tension has grown thicker by the day.

These days are not ones you want to morph into routine. You can’t watch them settle and solidify when you crave him and what he adds to your new life to this degree. Which means you have to figure yourself out. Not all of you—that will take some time—but enough of you that you can approach Jake and take the chance to be honest with him. His offer to exchange stories shows that it is not just you who needs it, but Jake as well. 

That is what has prompted you to bring your notebook to work over the last seven days. And the more time you spend writing your notes, the more you release from your damaged soul, and the more good things about Jake start piling up. His faults are underwhelming and overshadowed, and all it confirms is that you want him back. So you decide that when he picks you up from work, something you never expected him to continue doing considering your current relationship, you’re going to break the silence by asking for another chance. 

—

When Rooster’s truck pulls up to the store, Millie is leaning halfway out the passenger side window, one hand waving your way, the other arm bracing her precarious position. A moment later, her elbow slips on the sill and she lurches forward with a sharp yelp. Looking past her, you can see Rooster reach over the center console and wrap his arm around her waist to pull her back to safety. 

“Babe, please,” he groans. “You’re stressing me out.”

She glances at him over her shoulder. “Oh, you hush. I’ve never fallen.”

“Yet,” he emphasizes. “I’d like it if my girlfriend stayed alive. I've got plans that involve you.”

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head, Darlin’. You know my hips will save me from making it all the way out the window.” 

Rooster only rolls his eyes in response before unwrapping his arm and giving her ass a light smack. 

Millie looks back at you, her grin wide and displaying a row of straight, white teeth. “Hey, honey. Workin’ hard or hardly workin’?”

“You can only work so hard here,” you say with a weak chuckle. “Where’s Jake? Is he okay?”

You want that answer as much as you don’t. You pray he’s fine and safe, but then it means the tension that hasn’t dwindled the slightest has finally become too much for him. Though you’d rather he avoid you than be injured or ill, it hurts no less. Right as you devise a plan to bring the two of you back together, he pulls further away.

“Oh, he’s um…” Millie bites her lip.

“Staying on base tonight,” Rooster says, leaning back to meet your eyes over Millie’s shoulder. “He went in to get some extra work done and thought it would be easier.”

If the lie weren’t so terribly obvious, Rooster’s face would’ve betrayed him. The man is not a master of deception. He can’t pull it off. You suppose that bodes well for Millie, if he would ever dare tell her an untruth. Not that you can imagine a situation where he would. 

Millie’s nerves wipe from her face at her boyfriend’s explanation, and you almost snort from how cute they are. They operate as their own little team, supporting and backing their partner up to keep the other from falling. Whether they succeed in their mission, like trying to convince you Jake is busy, is another thing. 

Your little red-headed friend transforms back into her giddy self. “Right, so he asked us to come get ya,” she says with a wink.

Now that, you do believe. Jake may not want to see you, but he wouldn’t leave you stranded. And as disappointing as it is to see Rooster’s truck instead of the one you perfer, you know it’s not enough to convince you to give up on your end goal. With your plan thwarted, you only gain more time to figure out exactly how you’re going to bring up what you want to tell Jake.

—

You’ve decided Sundays are the best days. Sundays are easy days. They are days set aside for relaxing, where you can spend twenty-four hours in your home with only a robe wrapped around your body and not be judged. Many stores are closed on Sundays, the gift shop included, and most people don’t work, Jake included. And Jake Seresin, though not the type to sit around, does allow himself the mornings of Sundays to be what he would normally consider lazy. 

When you first moved in, you didn’t love this habit of his. Knowing no one but him and knowing no place but the apartment meant you didn’t do anything or see anyone else. He had you locked in with him for at least three hours before he met his team at the gym, and he took those three hours very seriously. Most of their minutes he dedicated to being around ta you,lking to you, asking you questions—anything you did, he was there to do it with you. And while it once bugged you a bit, it eventually grew on you. He grew on you. You stopped caring about how he spent his Sunday mornings because your routine and his melded into a comfortable place, and you've had no intentions of disrupting that—until now. 

After forgoing sleep to spend the entire night thinking about Jake, you’re sure you look like hell when you step out of your room and into the living room where he sits. You didn’t think to check yourself in the mirror, and Jake doesn’t acknowledge you in favor of reading his book to confirm or deny your likely-ragged state. 

You don’t care how you look, though. 

You care about pushing yourself forward. 

“Jake?” 

His hum is dismissive, but you don’t hold it against him. You understand his feelings too well, and you accept them. When he was so vulnerable and raw—when he told you something he’d not told even his closest friends—you denied him the same courtesy, and that decision hurt him. He aches. You still see it on his face and in his movements. The way his fingers gripped the book and his shoulders tensed the moment you entered the room. How he pulled his bottom lip inward and trapped it between his teeth and has yet to let it go. 

He’s trying to hide the discomfort your presence causes, and he is doing so well that, as someone with plenty of experience, you’re almost proud. But the act unravels completely when you say, “I trust you.”

His head slowly rises. Then, closing the book and setting it aside, Jake stands from his spot on the couch, brow pinched as if he had not heard you correctly. “What did you say?”

“I trust you,” you repeat. 

One hand settles on his hip as the other goes through his hair. He squeezes his eyes shut in a two-second long blink as if trying to snap himself awake. Lips part, perhaps to say something, anything, but then they seal again. 

Before you lose your nerve, you inhale, exhale, and with a single nod, mutter to yourself a final, “I trust him.” 

Then you spew out everything you’ve kept inside—everything you’ve kept away from him. 

“My parents left me,” you say aloud for the very first time. You try to hold them back, but tears accompany that statement, gathering in the corners of your eyes. “Dad first, when I was nine. Mom when I was fourteen. They left and I don’t know where they are, and I don’t really care, but they disappeared and it…it messed me up. It left me lost, and I learned to let people hurt me because no one showed me anything else. I let people treat me however they want, which most often means attacking the insecure parts of me. I let them call me names and look at me in ways that strip me of my dignity, and I can’t stop it. I don’t stop them.

“When I can’t take it anymore, I leave wherever I am,” you say before pausing to catch your breath. 

Jake doesn’t take the opportunity to speak. He stands there, staring, listening, waiting for you to offer him more. 

“You weren’t that far off at the diner when you said I was trying to live in every beach town for two months before moving on to the next. They haven’t all been beach towns, but there have been many of them and I never stay for long,” you admit. “The minute I have the means, I go. I graduated high school by myself and left my hometown, fell in love with an asshole in the second town and left, got a job at a bar whose drunks found me an easy target, so I left again, and it’s been the same everywhere I’ve landed, again and again and again. People break me down so I find someplace new. You are—” You cut yourself off to reconsider your words, “This is my eleventh new place.” One of those tears breaks free to slide down your cheek. “And I don’t know how long I’m going to last here, but I already hate the thought of leaving.”

Done with your speech, you release a heavy breath.

When Jake looks away from you, it’s a bucket of ice water dumped over your head. Your heart crushes with the realization that you were right. Jake was wrong. Seeing you differently is not as difficult as you had hoped and he had promised. In fact, he doesn’t see you at all anymore because he won’t even give you a glance. You presented the reality that you are unloved and unwanted and explained exactly why that is, and now he has in his hand all of the reasons why others mistreat you, the ability to evaluate those reasons, and decide for himself if those reasons are valid. 

And in that moment, you know you are fucked. You’re about to be lost again. On your own, in the dark, with nothing to hold on to. Not that you didn’t anticipate this coming along eventually, but you would have liked to stick around a little longer. 

Through the blur of tears, you see Jake nod. That’s all. No words, no shift in facial expression; he nods to the floor rather than give you the respect of nodding to your face. He nods again, and then he looks up to meet your gaze. 

Jake’s hands fall from his hips, and in four strides he closes the space keeping you apart, cups your jaw in the heat of his palms, and plants his lips on yours. 

His kiss lands somewhere between hard and soft, between eager and restrained, between needy and downright desperate. And after adjusting to the shock he plunged you into, your mouth begins to move against his. 

Jake is warm, and cozy; he tastes like the one Splenda packet he puts in the oatmeal he occasionally has for breakfast, and it all makes your brain hum in a comfortable delight. You take from him all that he takes from you, and give to him all that he gives you, and in the process, accept that you truly want this and he wants this and that’s all that matters. You’re not working harder to please him than he is working to please you. You’re not thinking about what he will think when your lips separate. You’re not afraid of being a disappointment because were that the case, surely he would have released you by now. But he hasn’t released you. He holds on and pulls closer and doesn’t let go, not even when the kiss breaks.

Thumbs stroke your cheeks as your eyes slowly drag from his swollen lips to his nose to that mossy-green shade you’ve become attached to. There’s a hint of concern in his stare. But then you smile, so he smiles, and the concern fades. 

“Your turn,” you whisper.

---

tags: @wkndwlff @kmc1989 @sagittarius-flowerchild @dempy @oliviah-25 @rosiahills22 @xoxabs88xox @matisse556 @hardballoonlove @ssa-sadboi @lynnevanss @pono-pura-vida @tgmreader @amgluvsbooks @ravenhood2792 @djs8891 @shakespeareanwannabe @sailor-aviator @penguin876 @rogersbarnesxx @nani-kenobi @tgmavericklover @athenabarnes @emilyoflanternhill @wretchedmo @shanimallina87 @elite4cekalyma @buckysteveloki-me @shelbycillian @kissmethric3 @fox-bee926 @hangmandruigandmav @waltermis @fandom-life-12 @a-serene-place-to-be @bruher @cehenyne @tngrace @mamaskillerqueen @emma8895eb @benedictsvestcollection @blackwidownat2814 @himbos-on-ice @entertainmentgal8 @hookslove1592 @whoeverineedtobe @alwaysclassyeagle @chaytea06 @cherrycolas-things @turtle-in-a-tornado @have-a-nice-day-k @inkandarsenic @kidd3ath

[anaconamor]

love - jude bellingham x reader.

— small blurb (or scenario from my head) that i thought of to write this! 🤍😌

the wedding was wonderful. filled with many laughters and tears, everyone rejoicing, drinking, talking, or dancing. like how jude and you are, your bodies cling together as they swayed side to side. the sea breeze and smell reminding you of the beautiful paradise you got to travel to with your boyfriend.

when you met jude for the first time he had no clue how to dance, yet he’s still learning but right now you didn’t care, all you could feel was the warmth and safety in his embrace. his hands rested just above your bum, while yours were wrapped around his shoulders.

his head was rested gently on your temple, yours the same, just whispers of how happy the two of you were and stuff you wanted to do here on the island. but when it did get quiet, all you could hear was the commotion of people and your heart beginning to race faster. “you know… today has me thinking of something…”

your head pulled back to face him, his eyes filled with love and pure adoration as he looked into you. “yeah? and what is that?” you ask, your hand coming up to the nape of his neck to draw small shapes. “how badly i want this with you. a wedding. you and me married one day…” jude reveals, his face going from soft to serious in matter of seconds.

you intake a breath of air, the room becoming hot all of the sudden at his confession. one of his hand comes to your face where he tucked back a piece of hair behind your ear, being careful with your earrings, then holding your cheek as he continued to speak. “i love you, y/n… so much. i want to do everything with you…”

as your bodies continued to sway and danced to the music, you stayed put and came to a halt, tippy toeing to hug him tighter. you’d been together for a few months but never said the three words. there was times when you’d be on the phone, saying goodbye, when watching movies, or when you woke up from your sleep you almost said the words. when he visited your parents for the first time and the two of you were left alone by the bonfire.

love. the word love continued to replay in your head as you kissed his neck, jaw, cheek, his nose and then finally his plump lips. the two of you smiled into the kiss, teeth clashing as you kissed him a bit harder before pulling away. you held his face with both hands as his returned back to their place on your hips.

“i love you jude. i always have and always will.”

“i was so scared you’d say it, because i wanted to say it first,” he says making you giggle as you lean in to peck his lips once more. “i’m just so grateful to have found someone like you. you’re special and truly one of a kind, and i can’t help but feel to lucky to have a strong beautiful woman who isn’t afraid to follow me while i chase my dreams…”

“if anything im the lucky one… jude you’re my best friend, and if one thing is for sure, is that i’ll never stop following you as long as your happy and content,” you say, your bodies going side to side as you return to dance.

“but jude… if you want to get married one day, we have to work on your dance skills pretty boy,” you tease, jude gasping acting offended. “ma’am i’ll have you know my dancing skills are wonderful and unique,” jude defends himself with a joking smile plastered on his face.

“whatever you say…” you laughed, your forehead resting together as you continued to sway. it didn’t feel real, but when you felt him kiss your forehead and bridge of your nose you knew it wasn’t a dream or fairytale.

one day it’d be a different place and time. the dream of the both of you being married one day would become true. filled with many tears and laughter, but most importantly, love.

[7ndipity]

He Forgets Your Birthday

Jin x Reader

Summary: Jin just wants to make your birthday memorable, but what happens when life gets too hectic and makes him forget?

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: angst, swearing

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this! Sorry it took me a little bit to get to.

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Life moved quickly with Jin, in multiple ways.

The first time you ever met, he asked for your number, fearing you wouldn’t cross paths again and he might not get another chance. You both said ‘I love you’ less than two months into dating, after he accidentally let it slip out during one of your first nights together, you even ended up moving in with him after less than a year when the apartment you were subletting fell through(or more accurately, flooded through, but whatever)

Things also moved quickly because of your careers. Sometimes days would flick by without your realizing, a week would turn into two before either of you noticed, and then suddenly it’s been nearly two months since your last technical date.

Despite your reassurances that you understood, Jin felt guilty at times for the two of you missing out on special occasions like holidays or anniversaries with each other, but one day he promised he wouldn’t let slip past was your birthday.

You weren't exactly a fan of making a big fuss for your birthday, but Jin wanted to make it special for you.

“I’ll cook,” He’d promised you. “I’ll make all your favorites, as well as traditional seaweed soup for good luck, and then we’ll do whatever you want for the rest of the day.”

“What if I don’t want to do anything?” You’d asked, raising a brow as you sat on his lap.

“Then we’ll do nothing together,” He’d replied, pulling you closer. “And have a wonderful time doing it.”

It’d been an easy promise to make when your birthday was still almost a month away, but as the days and weeks passed, things became increasingly hectic. Comeback season was drawing close, and with it came the pressure and chaos of constant rehearsals, video shoots, and promotional activities, leaving Jin little time to think about much else. Half the time you were already asleep before he got home at night, tiredly wrapping himself around you for a few precious hours before starting the cycle all over again.

He didn’t even know what day of the week it was until Jimin spoke up as they slumped against the wall, trying to catch their breath during rehearsals.

“Oh, how’s Y/n? Did they like their gift?” Jimin asked. “I haven't heard from them since I texted happy birthday this morning.”

Jin felt his heart screech to a stop as he looked over at the younger man, hoping he had misheard. “What?”

“The flowers you helped us pick out? I figured they would’ve-” Jimin’s voice trailed off as he noticed the growing look of horror on Jin’s face. “Tell me you didn’t forget?”

Jin’s whole body felt cold as he fumbled for his phone, stomach dropping as he read the date, and then the numerous text notifications from you.

His hands shook as he read your words, his heart pounding loudly in his ears.

‘You left this morning before I got to say it, but love you💖’

‘Do you know what time you’ll be home?’

'Ngl, I'm kinda excited for tonight, it's been ages since I had your cooking😋'

‘Jinnie? Is everything okay?’

‘You’re not coming, are you?’

‘You could at least answer your phone so I know you’re okay.’

Shit.

Sparing no time explaining to the others, he grabbed his things and bolted out the door, nearly sprinting for the elevators.

He couldn’t believe how badly he’d fucked up, you must’ve been so upset with him. How would he even explain himself to you? Would you even talk to him when he got home? He wouldn’t blame you if the answer was no.

“Y/n?” He called as he opened the door but the house was silent, all the lights off, the stillness seeming to loom over him as he kicked off his shoes.

Tip-toeing through the house, he caught sight of the bouquet of flowers the guys had sent you sitting proudly in the center of the dining table, their cheery brightness almost mocking him now.

As he neared your shared bedroom, he caught sight of a sliver of light slipping out into the hall from the crack in the door.

Peeking in, he found you curled up on your side of the bed, sound asleep, but he could tell by the puffiness around your eyes that you’d been crying, shattering his heart completely.

He slowly sank down on the bed next to you, gently brushing your hair out of your face.

“I’m so sorry, Y/n.” He choked, tears blurring your image in front of him. He felt like the worst boyfriend in the world, how could he have forgotten something like this?! He had promised you!

He’d always tried so hard to live up to his commitments and responsibilities in your relationship, no matter how small, but in the moment when it mattered the most, he’d failed you.

“Jinnie?” Your cracked, sleep laden voice snapped his attention back up to you, meeting your tired eyes.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry.” He said, crying in earnest now.

“ ‘s okay.” You said drowsily, too tired to fight with him.

“It’s not. I made you a promise, and I fucked up.” He said, wiping his face.

You didn’t speak, sitting up slowly and pulling him into a hug. As upset as you might’ve been, you couldn’t stand to see him cry.

You wouldn’t lie, you were deeply hurt, but it wasn’t just for you. You’d seen how hard he’d been working lately, coming home late sore and exhausted, bags under his eyes from fatigue. You hated seeing him so tired all the time, so stressed and not able to do anything about it. You knew that under normal circumstances, he would’ve never forgotten, but your lives weren’t normal.

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” He cried into your neck. “I’ll find a way.”

“Jinnie, I don’t care about the dinner,” You said, trying not to start crying again yourself as you pulled back to look at him. “All I really wanted was to be with you.”

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“Just come hold me, please.” You half dragged him under the covers with you, winding your limbs around each other tightly.

Neither of you spoke much as you slowly drifted off to sleep, clinging to each other desperately, needing to feel each other to be sure you were both still there.

When you opened your eyes the next morning, you found his side of the bed empty.

Sitting up slowly, you glanced around, questions only just beginning to form in your mind before you heard a faint noise from somewhere in the house, the scent of one of your favorite dishes drifting through the open bedroom door.

Still groggy, you climbed out of bed and followed the smell to your kitchen, where you found your missing boyfriend, his back to you as he stood over the stove, fussing at something he was stirring.

“Why are you so salty? I didn’t even add that much.”

“Maybe it’s just in a bad mood.”

He turned at the sound of your voice, eyes softening as they found you in the doorway, messy hair and sleep clouded eyes, wearing one of his pajama tops as a sleepshirt.

“I thought you were still asleep.” He said softly.

“What are you doing?” You asked.

“Fulfilling my promise to you.” He said, turning back to the stove for a moment as he spoke. “It’s not quite all of your favorites, but it’s a start. Plus, we’ve got the whole day to do whatever else you want to do.”

“I have work.” You said, not unkindly.

“No, you don’t.” He responded. “I left them a message saying you were sick and couldn’t come in today.”

“Sick with what?” You asked.

“Bad boyfriend-itis,” He said, coming over to hook his arms round your waist. “It’s a very serious condition, it requires a lot of rest and care to recover from.”

“You’re not a bad boyfriend.” You said quietly, fiddling with his shirt collar.

“I’m not so sure about that.” He said, frowning.

“Well, I am.” You pushed up on your toes to press your lips to his softly, making him melt instantly. You let your hands slowly trail up and around his neck, earning a slight shiver from him before you pulled away to look at him. “What about rehearsals?”

“I told them the same thing as your work.” He said with a slightly dazed grin.

“You have boyfriend-itis too?” You raised a brow at him questioningly.

“Are you kidding? I’m patient zero.” He replied, earning a giggle from you, making his heart swell as he smiled down at you.

“Go back to bed,” He said softly, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “I’ll call you when it’s ready.”

“I don’t wanna go back to bed.” You said, wrapping your arms around his waist, looking up at him seriously. “I told you last night, I just want to be with you.”

“Alright then.” He hooked his hands under your thighs, boosting you up to sit on the counter with a surprised squeak from you. “You can sit here and be my lovely assistant.”

“I don’t even know what you’re making.” You giggled again.

“Doesn’t matter, just follow my lead and make yummy noises when I show you something.”

The two of you talked as he continued cooking, stopping each time he passed by you to leave a kiss on your waiting lips. Once everything was ready, you moved to the table, sitting close enough that you could reach over and grab his hand as he settled next to you.

He glanced up at you. “What is it?”

“Just thank you.” You said.

He tilted his head. “For what?”

“Being you. Being here.”

Jin felt the familiar twisting in his chest as he leaned over to press another kiss to your lips.

“Always.” He promised.

He wouldn’t make the same mistake again, he swore to himself, he would be there for you, no matter what else was going on. You were his world, his heart, and he would make sure you knew that from now on.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan

[rhiaghostriley]

MDNI - Ghost × reader - toxic relationship

The loud thud resonating in the mess hall draws all the attention on it, including yours. As you turn your head toward the noise to see what caused it, you freeze on the spot : Lieutenant Simon Riley, looking at you with furious eyes, his hand deeply buried in the plywood next to his head. Looking at you, and the guy you are openly flirting with.

Dammit.

Before you can even think about moving, he’s gone. But you know you will hear about him soon enough.

Fuck it, after all. You were doing nothing wrong. You were not together anymore. And it was his call, this time. This hundredth time… You don’t even remember how it started, to be honest. In the beginning, he was the stern, cold, forever masked Lieutenant of Task Force 141, and you were nothing more than one of the new recruits. But you made a joke during a meeting, and it made him smile, a rare occurrence for him. He got intrigued, wanted to know more about you. And from a few drinks at the nearest bar with the team, to asking him his opinion about the outfit you should wear, you’ve grown closer. And you’ve grown to know the man under the mask. With all his good and his bad sides. A lot of bad sides. But red flags are just flags when you look at it through pink glasses, right ? And you would have managed to stay away from him if the man wasn’t able to make you cum just by looking at you. But God, in his infinite cruelty, gave him the power over your body and your feelings. So here you are, wondering whether you should go after him or not, even when you know it will end badly. And remembering the first kiss…

“Ya gonna be late for meeting.” A husky voice behind you, one which can belong to only one person, especially with that thick British accent.

You smiled, blowing out some smoke from your cigarette. “Gonna report me, Lt ?”

“Don’t give a fucking shit.” He sat beside you on the bench. “Ya too young to smoke that much.”

You giggled, looking at the cigarette between your fingers, then held it out to him. “Just have to ask, if you want one.”

He chuckled, taking the cigarette from your hand. “Ya know me, I don’t ask. I take.”

“The only right way to live.” You chuckled back.

You stayed a few minutes silent, until his gravely voice speaks again. “Gonna tell me what’s wrong, or I’ll have to get it out of ya ?”

You sighed. No need to pretend, he knew. He always knew. You gave a sad smile, and trying to sound playful you said “Been dumped. Again.”

He chuckled. “Ya gonna have to stop dating boys, and try men, little one. Ya’re too much to handle for these kids. Ya need someone who can handle himself. And you.”

Your breath caught in your throat and you chuckled. “Like you ?”

These two words. The words you should never have said. The words that made your life heaven on earth and a living hell at the same time. Because next thing you knew, you were sitting on his lap, kissing him ravenously, his lips demanding, his hands wandering, making your skin tingle and your insides clench. He was proving you that indeed, he was the kind of man taking without asking, and you let him.

From then, it all went spiraling. Addicted to his touch, repulsed by his toxic demeanor, when he was pulling, you were pushing. And when he was the one pushing, you were crawling back to him like a lost puppy. He hated that he needed you, loved that you needed him. You hated that he made you lose all common sense, and loved every second spent naked against him. The damn man did know how to get under your skin as much as under your sheets.

Without realizing, you are walking around base, trying to spot him everywhere you look. Not that you feel bad for what you did, but you’d rather find him than run into him at the least expected moment and let him have the upper hand. The hole in the wall of the mess hall was enough of a proof that he was pissed, and he was like a bottle of coke that you shook too much. You would never know when it would explode, but it would. But he was nowhere to be found, and as your steps start to lead you back to your quarters, you feel your eyes water in apprehension. First for you, and then for him. For all you know he could be either in his quarters, letting out some steam on video games, or in a bar, trying to put up a fight with any bloke who would look at him in a way he wouldn’t find acceptable.

But there is also sadness in your heart. Because as much as you want to keep him away from you, you can’t. And you dread the day your ways will split for good. But this day hasn’t come yet…

As you enter your room, slamming the door shut behind you, before you have time to turn the light switch on, you feel a hand wrap on your throat and pin you against the wall. In a matter of seconds you try to comprehend what is happening, and not to freak out. But then, things get crystal clear. From the gloved hand around your throat, to the smell of Bourbon and tobacco hitting your nostrils, now you know.

“Think ya can replace me so easily, little one ?” The grip on your throat is not tight, barely uncomfortable, just strong enough to keep you still. It’s not meant to hurt you, just to remind you who is in charge.

“Ghost, let me go.” Your breath is a little uneven, your voice trembling.

“Now why would I ?” He grunts. He is still angry. “We have a few things to talk about before. Who is he ?”

“No one.” You sigh. You know it won’t be enough. “Name’s James. I don’t know more about him. It was the first time we talked.”

His grip loosens a bit, but not completely. He presses his forehead against your temple and inhale deeply, taking in your scent. “Why would you talk to him ?”

Your breath shortens a bit, because you know that whatever your answer might be, it wouldn’t be good enough for him. And the worst part is that there was no answer, you were just making small talk while lining up at the mess hall for lunch. But still you have to answer something. “We are planned on a mission together next week. We were just trying to get to know each other better. That’s it.”

“That’s it ?” He growled, then chuckle. “That’s it.”

After a few more seconds he finally lets go of you, and turns around, walking toward the nightstand where a half-empty bottle of whiskey is waiting. He takes a long swig, then shakes his head. “It’s the first time I see you talking to another guy. I don’t like it.”

You stand against the wall, not wanting to come closer, your arms crossed over your chest. “Yeah, I got the hint when you punched the wall.”

He scowls. “Don’t go there. It was the wall or his face. Better the wall, right ?” He takes another swig.

You look away, shaking your head. “I don’t understand. You left. Why do you mind ?”

He chuckles bitterly and sit on the edge of the bed, taking a sip of whiskey again. “That’s a hell of a good question.” He rubs his face with one hand, the bottle dangling from his other hand as his elbow rests on his knee. “I have no fucking clue. Ya’re my fucking Kryptonite.”

You sigh, feeling your eyes well up. “No, not Kryptonite. You’re like heroin. You feel like heaven when you’re inside me, but when you’re not I miss you as much as I hate you.”

He growls. “Then find a damn cure. Your own version of methadone, I don’t give a fuck. Stay. Away. From me.”

You let out a bitter chuckle without looking at him. “I tried. You punched a wall, remember ?”

He scowls, his voice raising. “Not a cure that means making fun of me in front of the whole goddamn base !”

You raise your voice to match his. Not something you’re used to do, but today you’re too angry. Today, it reached a new level of toxicity. And you, as well, can play dirty. “Oh, so you’re okay with me being fucked, but not by another soldier ?”

He yells even louder. He needs to have the upper hand, to show that he is more, in every way. “Ya want to play the base’s slut ? Get laid by every fuckin’ soldier around ? Fine, be my guest ! I won’t stop ya ! But don’t come back crying like you always do !”

That stings. More than it should. Because that’s not what you want. But god are you able to, even if just to piss him off a little bit more. “And what, you’re going to punch another wall ? Plus, I wouldn’t come back if you were strong enough to say no, for once !”

You knew. You knew it wasn’t a good idea to use the words “not strong enough” when talking to him. And as the bottle of whiskey crashes on the wall right next to your head, you could only think that you should have known better…

You’re both frozen. Him in anger, you in shock. Your body starts to tremble as more tears runs down your cheeks, and you stare at him, through him, eyes wide and face strained.

He, on the other side, stares back at you, chest heaving with every ragged breath he takes, anger creeping in his mind like poison as he tries to convince himself that it is your fault and not his. As he tries to persuade his scarred mind that he is not a violent guy, that he is not like his father, that it was an accident.

He takes a deep, steadying breath, taking a shy step closer to you. Then another. Then a third one, closing the distance between you two. Slowly, like dealing with a scared animal, he raises a hand to your face, putting it on your cheek, tilting his head as he whispers “I am sorry.”

And as you burst into tears, his other hand reaches for your other cheek, cradling your head in his hands, burying your face in his chest. “Ya know I would never hurt ya.”

But the truth is that he does. Every goddamn day. When he looks at you, when he touches you, when he ignores you. It hurts. But the brain is a wicked machine, and you like it rough.

He presses his lips against your forehead, whispering sweet nothings as he tries to calm you down. How beautiful you are, how soft you feel against him, like a snake trying to convince you to bite the apple, he sneaks into your brain, telling you what you need to hear.

His lips leave a trail of soft kisses from your forehead to your temple, then down to your cheek. Your jaw clenches, knowing what comes next, trying to gather the strength to say no. Not because you don’t want to. Quite the opposite.

When his mouth finds yours, awaking the familiar warmth in your chest, you try. You really try. But it comes out barely above a whisper. “Ghost, no, don’t.”

But he doesn’t listen. He doesn’t ask, he takes. He shuts you up with a kiss, his lips soft and tender at first, but quickly turning more demanding, more hungry. More desperate. And you can’t help but give it back.

With a sharp intake of breath, he buries his hands in your hair, grabbing a fistful of it to hold you still as his tongue presses against your lips, demanding entrance. Your lips part and your tongue reaches his, addicted to the bittersweet taste of bourbon and the lingering scent of smoke.

His body pins you against the wall, giving you no other choice than to put your hands on his waist, his chest pressed against yours, his hips pushing. You can feel how turned on he is, the bulge in his pants rubbing on your lower stomach, making you gasp. And he takes it as a green light.

His hands move from your hair to your chest, his touch rough when he grabs your breasts through the thin fabric of your top, eliciting a small whimper from you. It doesn’t stop him though. He knows you like it that way, despite you trying to pretend otherwise the first time. That is certainly why you and him were a match made in hell. You like when it hurts and he doesn’t know how to be soft.

Before you have time to say anything, his hands are under your top, tugging at your bra to try and move it down. His lips haven’t left yours still, his tongue fighting yours for dominance in your mouth, even if you know he will win.

His fingers find your nipples, pinching them hardly, sending a jolt from your breasts to your cunt. When you moan softly, you can’t feel him grin against your lips. “That’s it, baby girl. Let yourself go.”

As one of his hands keep working on your breast, the other moves down toward the buckle of your belt, calloused fingers grazing the soft skin of your belly, making you shiver. You know what comes next, and the heat between your thighs forbid you to act like you don’t want it.

He works fast on your belt and the buttons of your jeans, his hand already slipping in your panties, eager to touch you. He is neither slow, nor soft, but you don’t mind. All the pent-up tension from the last hours needs to be released, for you as much as for him.

When his fingers reach your pussy, tracing your slit to find your entrance, he stops kissing you, keeping his lips glued to yours, and groan. “Fuck, so fucking wet already. You like me angry, angel. Good to know.”

Inside, you want to scream, the wave of feelings coming at his words overwhelming. Anger. Pain. Self-loathing. Because he is right. He might be a walking red flag, but your red flag is that you like it. But as overwhelmed as you feel, it’s not enough to mutter the craving you feel for more of his touch. And all you can do in response is to let out a soft moan as he slides a finger into you, his thumb rubbing your already throbbing clit in expert circles.

His voice rings in your ear like poisoned honey, dripping from his lips right into your brain. “Come on little one, talk to me, use your words. Ya want more ?”

All you can do is nod, and whimper a small “yes”, because of course you want more.

He chuckles, nibbling at your earlobe as he slips a second finger into you, shutting your brain out. You find yourself grinding your pussy in his palm, feeling the too well known sensation of your orgasm building in the pit of your stomach. Damn him for knowing so well how to play your body like a violin.

He is all over you. His lips kissing the supple skin of your neck where it meets your shoulder because he knows it is your favorite spot. His left hand still pinching and rolling your nipple because he knows it helps the tension building faster. And his right hand in your panties, fingers pulling in and out of your pussy at the rhythm of your moans flattering his ears. He loves it. He needs it. He picks up the pace of his fingers, going harder and deeper, with only purpose to make you cum. And it works.

You keep grinding against his palm, your moans getting louder by the second. “Fuck, Ghost… Don’t stop.”

You can hear the smirk in his voice as he whispers in your ear “I don’t intend to, baby girl. Do me a favor, make it loud.”

And you comply. Not that you could help it, anyway. When your pussy starts to clench around his fingers and you keep moaning his name louder, he moans as well, still rubbing his cock on your lower stomach, needing the friction to help him holding back. He revels in the feeling of making you break so easily, feels powerful when you moan his name without being able to stop, relishes knowing that you still want more. “That’s my good girl.”, he praises softly.

But the softness doesn’t last long, and before you have time to get back from your high, the hand that was delightfully torturing your nipples is now unbuckling his own belt and buttons, letting his jeans fall down to his ankles. He steps out of the pile of clothes, and the same treatment is given to yours. In one swift motion, he picks you up, wrapping your legs around his waist, pinning you against the wall, rubbing his cock against your slit like his life depends on it. He doesn’t care that you just cummed and that your body is too sensitive still. He is starving. And you’re the only meal he wants.

With a growl coming from deep inside his chest, still carrying you, he takes a few steps back and sit on the edge of the bed with you still in his lap. His hands let go of you, just enough time to remove your top and his. He needs to feel your skin against his.

Without warning, he grips your hips and moves you down on him, just enough to let the first inches of his cock slide inside you. And you don’t even try to protest, because you want it too. You need him to fill you up, to stretch you out. You need him deep inside you so you can feel that for a few minutes you two make one.

When your eyes roll back in your head he lets out a groan. “Easy, little one. Ya’re going to take it all like the good fucking girl you are, but I don’t want to hurt ya. I told ya, I’d never.”

Still, he bites down on his lip, the effort of holding back from pounding into you already taking a lot from him. He starts to move slowly, giving you a few more inches of his dick with each thrust, letting you adjust and at the same time craving for more. His grip tight on your hips, dirty reminder of who is in control, he keeps moving, nice and slow, until he is buried into you to the hilt. “Fuck baby girl, you feel too good for my own sake.”

There it is, the hint of desperation in his voice, the only sign he would give you that he needs you as much as you need him. Only when he is deep inside you, body and soul.

When he feels you relax a little around him, his left hand wraps around your waist, his right hand reaches for your throat. Not too tight, just enough to control you. He uses it to settle the pace, his face buried in your hair as he takes in your scent. Your moans are like music to his ears, he is not far from cumming already. “Come on, little one. Ride me. Ride me hard.”

Your grip is tight on his shoulders, holding on for dear life as you move your hips up and down. Every move you make makes you whimper and moan, your eyes closed tight in pleasure, a thin veil of sweat covering your skin.

His grip on your throat tightens a little. “Look at me. Don’t you dare close your eyes. Look at me when I fuck you senseless.”

His grip not loosening, he uses it to make you move faster, making you take him deeper, seeking for both your and his release. He needs to make you cum again, it’s the proof that he has a total control over your body.

Your jaw hangs open in a silent gasp and you open your eyes to look at him, your moans turning into cries of pleasure as he keeps pounding into you faster. His gaze never wavers from yours when he starts to groan with each erratic breath he takes. “Come on, angel. Cum for me. I know your close. Cum for me again.”

And as if your body was listening to him more than to you, a second orgasm hits you like a freight train, making you squirm and writhe in his grip.

“That’s it, baby girl. Let it out, I want to hear ya fucking scream my name.” He keeps pounding, milking you out of your pleasure, and cumming right after you. “Fuck, you’re going to be the death of me, ya know that. I. Fucking. Hate ya.” That’s the last words you hear before he slams into you one last time with a loud groan, and stops moving.

His grip on your throat loosens, his hand moving to the back of your head, bringing you close to him and burying your face in his neck. He stays silent a few minutes, his hand stroking his hair. And your eyes fill with tears, knowing damn well what’s coming.

He has sobered up. Still stroking your hair, he whispers in your hear. “We have to stop it, love. We’re just hurting each other, and I hate hurting you.”

His body tenses as he feels your tears in his neck. He takes a deep, steadying breath. Not out of anger this time. Out of desperation and pain. He keeps whispering. “You deserve the world, and I leave nothing but chaos in my wake.”

He pulls you away, just enough to look into your eyes. He lays on the bed, keeping you in his lap, his arms around you like a vice as you rest your head on his chest. “You were right earlier. I am not strong enough to say no. You will have to be strong for us.”

He pauses as he feels his voice trembling. He hates being weak, but he knows that if there is one person in the world he can allow himself to be weak with, it’s you. “I hate that I have to ask you that, but you have to stay away from me. I love you too much to keep destroying you.”

And your grip on him tightens as tears keep straining your face. Because you know damn well that you will never be able to stop coming back.

[quibbs126]

“Perhaps now, a new dawn can finally approach…”

Here, have some of your dosage of Cookie Run art by me

The idea was basically of Dark Choco getting that Lava Sword, and then heading out to find a new lease on life

I want his Ovenbreak redemption really badly, or at least an update following him and that sort of story, as unlikely as that is. I mean, he seems to be pretty friendly at the Sun Tournament, so he’s not entirely unsaveable. But I also sort of see why he doesn’t get one, namely that he has one in Kingdom (sort of), and reappearing Ovenbreak characters generally get boiled down to their tropes, and a redemption would mean that they have to change his tropes

But yeah, at least in AUs/fanfiction

His shoulder pads are missing because the idea in my head was that he’s getting rid of his old outfit, to symbolize him starting anew, but then I also wanted the cape but was too lazy to add the shoulder pads back in, so now they’re the only thing missing from his design. I still don’t feel like putting them in though

Background’s still not great, but at least there’s an actual setting this time? I don’t really know how to improve on that front

I put the clouds in to sort of symbolize him leaving the control of the sword, as the clouds are now supposed to be dissipating. But I also don’t really know how to draw clouds, so they don’t look as great as I’d hoped

…All right, I’m gonna be honest, this drawing was cynically conceived. I made it because I was upset that this week’s drawings haven’t been doing so well, particularly last night’s drawing. I can acknowledge most haven’t been great, but I put a lot of effort into that last one and I think it turned out a bit better than usual, but it’s barely gotten any attention, outside of some mutuals and followers that’ll like my non-Cookie Run stuff as well. And it’s gotten nothing on Twitter, despite not having the tag excuse tumblr might have as to who sees it

This was made because I’m convinced that it’ll do better than yesterday’s drawing, as well as the art I’m posting on Sunday which I busted my ass over and have been waiting to post, just because it’s Cookie Run, Dark Choco, and what most of you signed up for

The above art isn’t horrible, and I do feel kind of bad for tying it into my own personal bitterness over what was probably inevitable, but this also is not my best work. I made it in 45 minutes while in class, it’s sort of just fine. But I guarantee you it’s going to do better than those other two pieces, things I put real passion and effort into (the latter piece more than the former though), just because of what it is

I would like to be proven wrong, and for that Sunday picture to actually do good and get the attention I want it to (which isn’t much, it’s mostly just double digit likes and at least one or two reblogs with someone’s thoughts), but I feel like that won’t be what happens, and that I’ll see more of this in my activity instead

[underdark-dreams]

Not sure if anyone is still following this oneshot, but I ended up writing a second chapter. Turns out I couldn't stop thinking about giving them a happier ending. (Rated M now 👀)

Rolan x Fem!Tav (Unnamed)

Good Night For Company - ch. 2

Tags: Mild Angst, Sexual Content

Word Count: 4,794 [Read on AO3]

Rolan had spent many hours cursing his timidity that night. 

He’d lain sleepless at his camp as the sky lightened outside the Emerald Grove, replaying each moment in his mind. The look in her eye when she asked to kiss him—her hand tugging him toward her tent—the lovely way she collapsed against him when his lips found her soft neck.

He'd escaped the very fires of Avernus itself with his whole family miraculously alive and in tow. Yet confronted with the puzzle of her hands drawing him down to her bedroll, his mind had seized up in uncertainty. How much easier could she have made it for him?

Although, he allowed himself, he had made some sense that night. For one who daydreamed of her face as often as Rolan, the strain in her features was instantly noticeable by campfire light. Her eyes were heavy-lidded and shadowed with dark, tired circles. Even her skin seemed drained of its usual color. She needed a good night’s sleep more than anything.

But as they said their goodbyes that night outside his campsite, Rolan's hands still holding her shoulders, he could have sworn she wanted him just as badly as he did her.

Rolan shut his eyes with a groan—her face only swam behind his eyelids, that same invitation drawing him into her gaze. He pressed palms to his eye sockets until she burst apart into popping stars.

When he opened them, he was back in the torchlight of Last Light Inn and sitting in his grim new reality. There was empty silence on either side of him where Cal and Lia should have stood chattering.

Rolan dragged his tankard back towards him across the bar, until he peered down and saw the bottom.

"You two," he snapped at the little Tieflings behind the bar. The boys' conspiratorial giggles hushed immediately as they both looked at him. "Are you tending bar or not?" He waved his empty mug toward them.

"I don't know," Ide said, brows lowering in a skeptical line. Rolan tutted at him.

"It's not difficult. Bottle," he pointed at the open dry red behind the bar. "Cup," he continued, waving a hand in front of him. 

"Mistress Jaheira said not to over-pour," Umi piped up, clearly not knowing the term but understanding the sentiment behind it.

"Mistress Jaheira didn't save both your hides from the Shadow Curse, did she?" Rolan snapped. He badly needed another drink; unwelcome lucidity threatened to close in. "If it weren't for me, who knows whether you two would still be out there right now."

“Stop it, mister Rolan,” Ide insisted. Rolan was opening his mouth to chastise him before he caught sight of Umi’s lip trembling. 

The child was already a timid thing. Through the recent memories of too many kin lying on the road, Rolan recalled Asharak, the childrens’ fighting instructor from the Grove. He’d been cut down before their young eyes just days ago. Umi seemed especially affected by the loss. No doubt the man’s body still lay spread-eagle on the path up the hill; the urgency of survival had left no time to bury their dead.

Rolan gave a heavy sigh as he watched the child’s forlorn face. Yet again, he felt like a monster. “Go. I swear I’ll practice moderation. And if Jaheira asks, tell her I ordered you off.”

The two of them scampered away without a response, clearly eager to get away from Rolan at the first chance. If only he could escape his own unpleasant company just as easily. 

But that, Rolan reminded himself, was what all this wine was for. He lurched across the bar for the bottle and tipped the rest of its contents into his tankard. Its heat down his throat welcomed him back toward oblivion.

If he still lived, their errant paladin had everything to answer for. Whether he’d lost his senses to the curse or just lost his mind entirely, Rolan cursed Zevlor for the umpteenth time for fucking off with the cultists and landing him in this unwelcome position of authority. 

Rolan was no leader…at best a very, very uninspiring one. The yoke should have fallen to someone brave and selfless. Someone like broad-shouldered Ikaron. But Ikaron was now another empty body lying along the Risen Road, to be slowly consumed by the shadows.

Rolan knew he was no beacon of encouragement. He’d done his best to herd the other panicked survivors onward, however, using every last bit of evocation knowledge he had to keep them surrounded with light and flame.

He also knew it was sheer good fortune that saved them in the end. If they hadn’t found the sanctuary of Last Light Inn when they did, they’d all be shambling undead by now.

Yet somehow in the days since the ambush, he found all the children hovering around him with frightened eyes, asking him questions he barely knew the answers to himself. How were they going to save the ones who’d been taken by the cult?

Perhaps his unpleasant habit of ordering others about was finally coming around to bite him in the ass.

Nevertheless, Rolan felt vexed and inconvenienced by the unasked responsibility. Weren't his siblings enough of a weight on his shoulders already? Saving everyone would be a miracle; all he could privately hope for was Cal and Lia returned to him. 

If they’re still alive. Those were the thoughts that drove him to drink, and drink he did, tipping back the pewter vessel with abandon. In between bouts of liquor, however, Rolan’s mind was working as hard as it ever had. 

Cal and Lia would be at Moonrise Towers. No question. Moonrise was the headquarters of this insane Absolute cult, the one whose small patrol had butchered their numbers on the road. And a fortress of that size had to have a dungeon of some sort on the lower level. Why would they go through the trouble of taking them alive just to kill them? They must have plans for them all—ones Rolan tried not to imagine in detail.

He had to think of a way to slip through unnoticed—possibly by river, if the rumors he’d overheard from the Harpers were right. How far could he get on his own? Asking any of his fellows for help was out of the question. 

Rolan glanced across the common room at what pitiful few remained. Alfira sat near the open hearth, fingers going through the motions of tuning her lute strings. Her usually cheerful eyes were blank and distant. Rolan hadn’t heard her play a single note since Lakrissa had been taken with his siblings. He should have thought to comfort her, but that kind of gentleness never seemed to occur to him.

Rolan crossed his arms on the bar and dropped his horns to them. If only he’d thought faster, acted sooner, left the others to fend for themselves in order to grab hold of his brother and sister before their screams grew distant. His sharp nails dug into his palms as the sound replayed in his mind. 

He wished he had anyone besides himself to be angry at. He wished he could be angry at her.

If only she'd never taught Cal and Lia how to hope to fight back or be heroes. If only she'd never taught him how to hope…for anything, he decided. For any single single thing he might wish were possible.

Through his haze of drunken self-pity, his ears pricked at some kind of shouting and commotion out front. No doubt another attack by some new shadow-cursed horror. Rolan heard one of the little ones begin calling his name. 

"I’m coming, I’m coming,” Rolan spat, sliding petulantly to his feet as one hand reached for the quarterstaff leaning against the bar. “The damned hells is it this time?" He didn’t care what language the child might hear, but young Mattis was unphased.

“Stow your frown—” Mattis was grinning toothily. “Goblin killer finally made it!”

“What?” But the boy was already gone, bounding away from him through the front doors. Rolan swallowed dry against his fuzzy tongue. He felt fully awake for the first time in days, and he gripped the bar to steady himself before his feet stumbled forward.

Jaheira's enchanted vines were disentangling from her legs just as Rolan entered the courtyard. It was fortunate; he'd grown to respect Jaheira, and it would've been a shame to have to hex her. Rolan jostled through the gathered Harpers without a care in order to push closer. 

She and her companions had been waylaid just past the bridge. Harper Lassandra was relaying a report in her defense, it seemed, but all Rolan could concentrate on was her face.

Her cheeks were splattered with dark, shadow-magic blood. One of her sleeves was ripped open at the shoulder, displaying another patch of blood-stained skin at the seam of her leather jerkin. By the dark circles under her eyes, she still hadn't slept properly since the Grove.

She was the most beautiful thing Rolan had seen in weeks.

Her eyes came to rest on his own face then; he watched her blink hard, as if she might be dreaming.

"Rolan?" She croaked out softly. 

He had already half-closed the gap by the time she started toward him. They caught each other so hard Rolan felt the air leave his lungs in a huff, but he gathered whatever of her familiar scent he could, tinged with coppery blood though it was.

“I’m so glad you’re—I’m so glad,” she laughed shakily into his shoulder. Rolan wished he could kiss her, but it didn’t feel right in front of so many other eyes. He settled for standing back with his arms circled tight around her middle.

"Where's Lia and Cal?" She glanced around behind him, her smile fading. Rolan should have expected her constant concern for others by now, but could only look at her. Her eyes landed back on his face. "Zevlor?" She added quietly.

“Come inside.” Jaheira’s voice interrupted the silence between them. “We can talk over a drink.” 

As the druid directed forces back to their posts, Rolan felt her slip out from under his arms. She approached Gale to ask something—Rolan saw the wizard glance his direction before he replied.

“Come on,” she said, jogging back into his embrace. 

“What about Jaheira?”

“Gale can handle it, he’s good at talking.” She notched herself back firm against his side as they walked in. “I’d rather hear from you.”

Rolan tried his best not to stumble up the stairs beside her. He cursed his impulse to reach for the bottle at any sorrow—he must reek of it. If he did, she was kind enough not to say anything.

He led her to the empty room beside the cleric’s and shut the heavy door behind them.

“We were ambushed,” he said in a rush, before she could open her mouth. “Cal and Lia were grabbed up by those monsters on wings. Along with others. They’re being held at Moonrise.”

“We’ll find them.” Her voice was automatic and steely-certain. 

Rolan nodded, borrowing what strength he could from her eyes. “We will.”

“I thought…Zevlor was leading you,” she prompted him slowly, as if she might not want to know the answer. He only shook his head at her. How could he explain what he didn’t understand himself?

“We took the same path here that you did,” she admitted to him. Rolan knew what she was saying. He remembered each and every blank, upturned face that shrank to a pinpoint in the darkness as he led the survivors away. 

“I’m so sorry, Rolan.” His numbness was broken by her two hands rising to hold his face. “I just—I’m so fucking sorry—”

For some reason, his grief felt more real than it had yet. Rolan looked down at her bloodstained face and folded his fingers around one of her wrists. It would be idiotic to cry in front of her, so he kissed her instead.

His lips shook against hers, from sorrow and from want in equal measure. Rolan didn’t want to think about his dead friends, or his family waiting for rescue in a dark dungeon—just for a moment, he wished he could lose himself in her. She was the one person he could let himself unravel with.

“Rolan, wait—” But she didn’t want him to wait. Rolan heard it in her breathless voice against his lips, felt it in the way her hands clutched at his clothing to pull him closer.

He knew she must taste the alcohol on his breath. Hadn’t he said something to her that night in her tent? Something about wine and sex being a bad mix.

Foolish words of a foolish man who still thought he'd have time to do things properly. Rolan couldn’t remember them, and right now, this seemed like the best thing that could ever happen in such a desolate place. 

Was it so wrong to want her? Even now, with the rest of his life crumbling around him? 

Only his very real feelings for her could have broken through the haze. With a lurch of effort, Rolan stumbled back from her. The four walls of their room pressed in unbearably quiet without the sounds of hands and lips filling the air. Her eyes shone dark to him in the candlelight, pupils blown wide in a way that his deepest instincts recognized with primal satisfaction. He was certain his eyes blazed with just as much desire. 

Rolan licked his lips, gathering his last shreds of control. “Tell me to go,” he rasped. “Say it, and I will.”

He was rooted to the spot to await her judgment. She was silent before him, only a soft pant from between her lips. Rolan stood there for what felt like an agonizing eternity as her eyes traveled over his face. 

So slowly it felt like a dream, she raised one arm across to her opposite shoulder. The gesture made no sense to him at first. Until Rolan heard buckles clicking and watched the plates of her leather armor shed from her chest like scales to the floorboards.

Her tunic was next, and before Rolan could ready himself it was up over her head and thrown on top of her armor, her bare breasts covered only by a few stray wisps of her hair. 

He swayed where he stood, lightheaded; her darkly shining eyes didn’t break from his for a moment, even as her hands were already moving to the fastenings of her belt.

Rolan felt an ache like loss. Those should be his hands—gently undressing her, taking his time as he slowly unveiled each new and beautiful expanse of her flesh—not the two of them rushing through this first moment of newness that they’d never get back. Because even as the thought occurred, he himself was ripping his own robes off his shoulders without a care for the state of them. They would have time enough some other night.

She was faster, already kicking her pants off her bare feet. She wore nothing underneath—the realization brought a groan from his throat. Once his last garments dropped forgotten to the floor, she practically pounced.

Rolan had just enough reflex to catch her as she threw her body against his. Her bare skin on his was electric, filling his mind with wild want even as he tried to take in every sensation at once. Her taut breasts pressed against his chest—fingers lovingly exploring the ridges on his shoulders and back—the heat between her legs barely grazing against his thigh, yet enough to send his mind reeling. She made him feel real again.

And her lips—how could he have already forgotten how sweet she tasted? He kissed her back with hunger, wishing he might dissolve into her soft warmth for good.

Rolan wasn’t as strong as he wished, and he was tipsy as all hells, but he did his best as he guided their bodies down on top of their clothing. Her hips and shoulders thumped under his weight against the wood boards. Surely it must have hurt her—but then he felt her legs cross behind his bare flanks, rutting their hips together, and every other concern was lost.

Slick wetness pressed against his pelvis as she rolled herself against him. The proof of how much she wanted him, if Rolan had any lingering doubts. He fell braced on his forearms around her.

“I missed you so much,” she gasped against his lips. Rolan paused everything as his eyes opened to meet hers, almost too close to focus. “Rolan, I wish we—I should have—” Her face shone with more yearning than he could bear.

"I know, dearest, I know—" The endearment fell with shocking ease from his lips. Though he might share them, tonight was not for regrets. There were enough of those going around to last a lifetime. 

Rolan stopped them with his mouth, licking and tasting her as deeply as she would let him, one hand splaying under her thigh to angle her hips deeper against his own. 

With anyone else, Rolan might have felt self-conscious about how hard he’d been since the moment she undressed for him. With her, what would be the point? She'd confessed more with her body and her words than he'd ever expected.

His ridged length pressed between them, his underside slickening with each rocking motion she made against him. He broke from her slightly.

"Tell me." The words came out husky. Rolan didn't mean them to tease her, only wanted her to direct him, but the way she squirmed under him was addictive.

"I want you," she breathed, and he felt fingers clasp behind his neck. "Please, Rolan—"

How could he deny her anything? Rolan grabbed himself to guide and nudge his tip to her folds, spreading her wetness along his length best he could. She deserved so much better than a hard floor in the middle of nowhere. But everything felt too urgent, like they were at the edge of the world’s end. And her face held nothing but eagerness as she watched him.

Gently, slowly, he guided himself just inside her. She was perfect; Rolan's head dropped to her chest as he exhaled with a shudder.

"Oh—" She only let out the little gasp, but her hands hooked under his ears, tilting his head back up so she could press lips to his forehead and eyelids. 

"More," she purred against him.

Reflexive, Rolan pushed into her to the hilt and let out a groan at how perfectly she gripped him. She hummed in satisfaction, her legs pressing tighter around his hips to hold him there.

It was somehow tender and frantic all at once. Rolan's hips rolled into her with increasing urgency, even as he cradled her face up toward his with both his forearms, wanting to watch each sensation play out over her face.

When he hit a new angle inside her, her fingers actually gripped one of his horns as her lips gasped open. It sent a shudder reverberating through his core.

"So good," she gasped. "You feel so perfect—"

He would do anything to keep it feeling that way for her. He ducked his mouth to her breast, sliding his tongue over one tight bud and sucking her into his mouth.

"Fuck, Rolan—" Her voice canted up a register, and he felt her walls tremble and grip around him with each thrust. Her fingers clutched sweetly at the ridges over his shoulder blades.

In the back of his mind Rolan wondered whether the whole inn could hear his name on her lips, but he wasn't sure he cared, wasn't sure he didn't fucking love the idea in fact.

Both of them were starved for it, and neither of them could last much longer. Rolan groaned something into the flesh of her breast, words lost to the way her body shook under him just as he unraveled all around her. He collapsed against her soft chest and held her tight with trembling arms.

—---

"What did you say before?" 

As he drifted back to reality, Rolan lifted his head from her to rest his chin on her stomach. "Hmm?" 

She was looking down at him with shy curiosity. "When you came," she said. He loved hearing words like that casually tumble from her. "You said something, I didn't recognize the language."

Rolan realized with some embarrassment that she was right. "I did, didn't I." He moved to press his lips along her abdomen, as if it might distract her from the topic. But she was far too stubborn for that.

"Going to tell me or not?" He felt his insides melt as she traced her thumb along the lines of one of his pointed ears.

Rolan regretted letting her in on that fact about Tiefling anatomy, and he told her so with a grumble. She only laughed and gave his ear point a teasing tug.

Rolan closed his eyes against the feeling instead. "It's Infernal," he admitted to her. He hadn't spoken the tongue in many years; the fact he remembered any was a surprise even to himself.

"Oh." She didn't sound put off, only curious. "What did it mean?"

He carefully considered how to answer. "There's…not a word in Common that directly translates." Rolan met her eyes as his lips brushed absently near her navel. "A feeling that cleanses like holy fire. 'Love of salvation.'"

She gazed down at him. "That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard," she whispered.

Rolan reached to smooth her hair across her forehead. "Is it? To be cleansed, you have to be corrupted first."

"Is that an offer?" she asked, a grin teasing at the corners of her mouth. “I mean, we’re all pretty corrupted around here. Don’t forget I’ve already got a worm in the head.”

Abruptly, she pushed herself seated upright; Rolan caught himself back against his knees.

"I’m an idiot," she gasped. “Rolan—that’s how I get to the Moonrise dungeons. This tadpole makes me a True Soul. I can walk right through the fucking front door!”

Anxiety gripped him as he watched the excitement unfold on her face. Rolan wasn't sure he could watch her willingly rush into a den of vipers. 

"I'm coming with you," he insisted, already knowing she would tell him no. She shook her head at him.

“I wish you could,” she told him, and he believed her. “You're not tadpoled, the guards would know. But I'll take as many of my companions as I can, I swear. We can do this," she added, gripping his forearm.

It was all too fast; Rolan caught her hand before she could rise. "Wait," he implored firmly. “Let me travel with you to the bridge, at least.”

That she agreed to. They dressed quickly—though Rolan couldn't resist grabbing her a few times to kiss what bare flesh was still exposed, absolutely adoring the way she melted under his hands and mouth each time.

When he and her party stood at the bridge to the Tower, Rolan regretted agreeing to this all over again. She only gave him a quick peck on the lips with the soft promise of more later, and headed down the walkway with her companions.

Rolan stayed back in the shadows to watch her speak with the guards. His heart pounded in his throat. There was a short exchange; even his sensitive ears couldn’t catch the words. But then the guards stood down, and she and her friends walked freely through the front doors of Moonrise Towers. He allowed himself to feel a sliver of hope.

Back at the Inn, Rolan paced around the hall for what felt like an eternity. Mol complained he was making her dizzy. In reality, it couldn't have been more than a few hours. 

When he heard the soft shout of the patrol below, Rolan rushed through the wide doors and down to the underground port.

Cal and Lia stood alive and well on the wooden docks. Her too, further down the line—she even caught his eye with a smile. Rolan could have laughed in relief, but the guards curtly ordered him back while the Harper on duty checked them over with Jaheira's bottled tadpole. 

Rolan deeply wished to aim a cantrip at the man's skull, but he clenched his fists to gather his last remaining shreds of patience.

When they were cleared, all of them dashed together. Rolan gripped Cal and Lia's heads with a hand each, holding them tight against him.

"You absolute fucking idiots—" Rolan was half scolding, half trying not to cry. "Don't you dare stick your necks out like that again, do you hear me?"

"I'll remember that the next time we get kidnapped by murderous lunatics," Lia's voice said into his shoulder, but she was squeezing his ribs tight.

"Sorry," was Cal's only meek response, and Rolan stifled the juvenile urge to rumple his little brother's hair. 

"Just get inside," Rolan said as he released them. "When was the last time you both ate?"

They both complained over his continued fussing, but each of them obeyed him in the end. The return of bickering and normality somehow eased a weight from Rolan's heart. 

As the Tieflings he knew and the deep gnomes he didn't all made their way up the stairs to the Inn, Rolan linked his arm around her waist beside him.

"I love you," he told her first, low so that only she could hear. Then—"thank you."

"Thank those lot up there," she told him, though he heard through the smile in her voice that she hadn't missed his confession. "They were ready to fight tooth and nail out of there. I just unlocked the bars."

In the dark Rolan placed a swift kiss on the crown of her head, and was rewarded by the feel of her cheek leaning sideways against his shoulder.

Last Light Inn still had an undeniable gloom to it, but it was lightened considerably by the reunions of friends and lovers. To Rolan's eye the hall seemed practically packed compared to a few hours earlier.

His siblings settled back at the bar, removed from the chatter at the hearth. Rolan watched them toast each other with two very well-earned pints. As they both launched into conflicting narratives of their adventure, Rolan felt a deep sense of ease soak into his bones.

"This one's fucking amazing, by the way—" Lia was gesturing her mug to the woman at Rolan's side. "Watched her cut down a Moonrise guard with one swing of a sword. You better have thanked her properly, Rolan," she added.

His sister was clever; Rolan strongly suspected she knew what she was doing. He decided to play dumb for the sake of the dear person beside him, whose cheeks he could practically feel burning from here.

"Believe me, I will," Rolan said. As he spoke, he drew her toward him again with an arm around her middle.

Cal was significantly slower on the uptake. "Eughh." He let out an amused noise of disgust. "Why don't you two just kiss each other alre—"

But Rolan's lips were already on hers, tilting her chin up and back with a hand so he could capture her mouth. His other arm wrapped her shoulders back against his chest, and he felt her fingers grip tight over his forearm. As they gently broke apart, the quiet lasted only for a second.

"Twelve pints at the Elfsong." Lia smacked the bar next to Cal. "That's it, you owe me."

"Taking bets on my fucking love life now?" Rolan began, his indignance slightly undercut by the fact that his love in question was shaking with laughter under his arm, both hands clasped over her face.

In the end, Rolan left his siblings to argue over the details. He was too overwhelmed with embarrassment and the desire to save her from any of the same.

As he drew her back up the stairs, Rolan felt her shoulders shaking with laughter again under his arm. He glanced sideways, wondering what had ruined the mood now.

“What?” he prompted her.

“Nothing, it’s just—” She was positively sparkling as she looked at him out of the corner of her eye. “Can we use the bed this time?”

With a mortifying jolt, Rolan realized there was indeed a perfectly serviceable bed in the room where he’d unceremoniously taken her on the floor.

“Fuck,” he breathed.

“Plenty of time for that,” she agreed, biting her lip as she drew him with her hand. “Now come on.”

[yuseirra]

I really enjoy drawing them as gods! :) I'll keep drawing this version too while I can (and even after things clear up~)

I jotted about these guys earlier AGAIN and it's so funny, I'll put it in the read more

(was written in another language, translated in bulk by chatgpt~)

I set up my tablet to draw all weekend and started listening to Fatal again.

Seriously, this song… it’s just Kamiki, saying, “I can’t live without Ai~~ I want to see Ai so badly… Without her, I’m really going to die, I feel like I’ll die—what am I supposed to do?” That’s exactly what it sounds like.

It’s like Ai is Ame-no-Uzume, and Kamiki is her husband. He’s like a god who lost his wife and went completely insane. I can’t hear it any other way, seriously. If this isn’t the case, I’d be so disappointed! There’s just no other explanation for all the bizarre situations in the story. Every time I hear this song, I feel like I’m losing my mind because of this interpretation…

This isn’t Aqua. Right now, Aqua let go of his wish for Ai and is sinking deeper as he saves Ruby. No, it’s Kamiki who’s crying about not being able to live without Ai, wanting to see her that badly. What are we supposed to do with him? Why does he love Ai this much? (To be fair, the backstory is there. Watching his character unfold, I thought, "Yeah, it makes sense he’d fall for Ai.” Even before the song and Chapter 154 came out, I was certain of it.) He’s the only character who’d have such a “lack of Ai.” He lost Ai, and now he’s like, “My destiny is to get her back!” I’m sure that’s what’s driving him. He studied science in college, built a company, and went around doing all these things while telling himself, “It’s my fault, my fault,” and witnessing people dying. Seriously… what is this?

And his eyes—I feel they were originally golden, but it feels like something mixed in because of that black star, which changed the color. His eyes look so murky. I don’t think they were meant to be purple. Every other character has clear eyes, but whenever they show his in the anime, his color is cloudy, almost like something else is mixed in.

The Hoshino family’s eye colors connect to their names, but Kamiki’s name means “light,” so why the sudden purple? It could be, but his eyes look so cloudy, and no other character’s eyes have that quality. He’s not in his right mind… he really seems possessed. And why are the lyrics like this? Why do they have this meaning? If this isn’t revealed, I’m going to seek out the author myself. It’s almost funny. This song is just so strange.

It sounds like constant crying—a song of intense longing, he’s losing his mind. Once again, this isn’t Aqua’s emotional arc. Kamiki’s emotions are ten steps deeper than Aqua’s, maybe even more unhinged. He literally seems unable to live without Ai. But this makes sense if they’re a divine couple; they literally can’t function without each other. They need to be together, which even aligns with the things Kamiki says in the story. He was hers and she was his- What is he, really? He isn’t your average person. He’s genuinely strange. What he does is something that can't just be explained with charisma or “because he’s charming.” No, Ai and Kamiki must have originally been gods.

Honestly, Kamiki must be a god who was deeply devoted to his wife, driven to madness because people killed her. That’s why Aqua was assigned to dunk him into the sea to get him… This storyline would make so much more sense if this is it.

Ai must be crying in heaven if she sees what’s become of her husband. It’s so absurdly tragic. I feel like this direction would make more sense. I mean, what kind of story would it be if Kamiki were just “the bad guy”? We already know he was fundamentally a good person. How could an ordinary person even do all these things? I know the setting is modern, with cell phones, electronics, law enforcement, etc. But honestly, people buying into this guy’s ideals to this degree is baffling. He could only pull this off if he were a god.

Fatal… I’m sure I’ve shared my thoughts on this song countless times, but every time I listen to it, I feel like I’m one step closer to understanding its meaning. This song’s emotions are just so Kamiki. If this is Kamiki, though… well, he must really have loved Ai. He’s struggling so much, and you can really feel what it means to not be able to live without someone. He simply can't bear it. That’s how strong his love is.

At this point, can’t we just let him meet Ai again already? He fell apart because he couldn’t see her, even though he wanted to so badly. Was he really at fault for all of this? Is he actually responsible for Ai’s death? I don’t think so… If Ai had been there, he probably wouldn’t have ended up like this.

We need to find out the real reason Ai died, don’t we? This song has to mean something, right? There has to be a reason this song came out. I wouldn’t have started down this path if I didn’t feel I already knew the answer. If I were the author, I’d never make a character who wants to see Ai so desperately into her killer. Maybe Kamiki has some godly power that became unstable out of his anxiety, causing the chain of events that led to her death, but...

Now that we know Ai truly loved Kamiki, I can’t believe he’d even lay a finger on her. It just doesn’t fit his character or story. His behavior shows he isn’t capable of that. This is the same person who couldn’t even retaliate against people who treated him horribly, even those he cared less about than Ai. He was a kind person.

Looking at Kamiki’s consistent behavior, there’s always this gentleness, almost peacefulness. Even if he’s lost it now, that gentleness seems closer to his true nature. I feel like something forced its way into him and twisted him.

The person Ai loved was probably this part of Kamiki, the gentle exterior. If you look at it, it makes sense why she’d fall for him. He’s fundamentally that kind of person, but something happened to him.

I’m rarely wrong about things like this… There aren’t many chapters left now, so if I’m wrong, I’ll just take it as it comes.

Was Kamiki really the kind of person Aqua could treat that way? Honestly, I wasn’t satisfied watching the interactions between Tsukuyomi and Aqua. It didn’t feel good to watch them connect and talk sympathetically. Plus, if it turns out Ai loved someone who was truly insane, that’s another problem.

If Kamiki really did do horrible things, it would make more sense if they were god-level punishments from a god who went insane. If he were just a regular boy who lost it and became a serial killer… what even is that? That would be so disrespectful to people who have similar backgrounds. For a character like this, I feel like there should be a certain amount of care in how he’s handled. Otherwise, I'd really be upset. I’m sure the author understands that.

Anyway… it feels like the answer’s already in the song. Like the answer’s already been given. There aren’t many chapters left, so I guess we’ll find out soon.

[charliemwrites]

Ahajskskskdjdj I just binge read all of Feral x Simon and OMG it's my new Roman empire

And your WRINKLY BRAIN IS GIVING ME WRINKLES OMG

WHAT IF someone finds out about Feral?? Either someone who just hears Simon giving Johnny a couple of tips on how to handle Feral or just answering some of Johnny's questions about Feral, and is deeply concerned or is to nosey about the elusive Ghost to pass up the chance to know more. OR AN ENEMY finds out about Ghost's little pet.

Either way someone tries to break out Feral while Simon is out on deployment. BUT Feral doesn't want that and Simon comes home, after getting an alert that the security system is down, to a wrecked house and no Feral :((((

How would Simon react??? First to of course find Feral but afterwards?? Poor Feral all traumatized and trust broken because Simon is supposed to protect them and where was he??

Ooooooh I like this concept a lot.

Say it’s someone from another team, hearing him and Johnny chat out in the training grounds. The guy gets it in his head this is a huge conspiracy - obviously ghost’s captain is in on it. Hell, it could even go further up the chain. Who’s gonna tell an asset like ghost that he can’t have one measly civilian in exchange for all the work he does? Well this guy has morals, he has integrity. He’s drawing the line in the sand.

He does some covert investigating, figures out where ghost is keeping his hostage. Then he just waits. The whole 141 is away on a big mission. By the time the bastards get back, Rando will be long gone with his rescue.

He shows up just before the sun is meant to set and breaks through the heavily locked and reinforced door. It looks… like a normal house. He shivers - how diabolical. He dreads what the bedrooms must be like.

When he walks into the living room, there’s still no signs of life or even noise.

“It’s okay ma’am, I’m here to rescue you,” he calls.

A face pops out from behind a doorway, scowling.

“The hell are you talking about? Get out!”

“No, really it’s okay,” he insists, hurrying closer. “I’m not with him. It’s not a trick. I’ll get you to safety.”

“I’m fine-“ the poor thing must be so traumatized. He’ll have to get her out for her own good. She’ll thank him later. “Hey!”

She starts kicking and squirming as he grabs her arm, trying to usher her to the door.

“I’m going to save you, ma’am. You won’t ever have to see that terrible man again.”

She’s putting up too much resistance, he’ll have to scoop her up and take her out.

And that’s when her expression changes.

—

Simon bursts through the door to a dark house. There’s blood all over the floors. Tracking from the living room into the kitchen. His heart drops into his stomach.

“Love?”

“S-Simon?!”

He follows her voice to his bedroom, where she’s just slinking out from under the bed. Her eyes are huge and blood is dried all over her face and neck and hands.

He hurries to her side, thinking she’s been badly injured and has been bleeding out beneath his bed this whole time. But she stutters out that it’s not hers. That there’s a body in the laundry room.

She’s practically trying to crawl beneath his skin, sobbing and shuddering.

“You promised,” she wails, “you promised.”

[otakusheep15]

Flufftober Day 25 - Crafts

Content includes: Rollo x reader, established relationship, probably OOC Rollo, reader is bad at crafts, Rollo is good at drawing

“You certainly have a strange idea of fun, don’t you?”

Rollo looks down at the table, his expression a mix between confusion and mild annoyance. Meanwhile, you’ve fully immersed yourself in your activity, ignoring his obvious insult.

It’s rare you get to visit your boyfriend since you go to different schools, especially two that are so far apart. When you finally managed to free up your schedule enough to visit, you decided it would be fun to do something fun with him.

After a bit of back and forth trying to decide what to do, you eventually decided to do some crafts with him. Fleur City is known to have some amazing craftsmanship, so you wanted to try something out yourself.

Now you’re here, hanging out at NBC with Rollo, attempting to cut out some paper dolls. It’s not going very well, and they certainly don’t look the way you envisioned they would, but at least you’re having fun.

Rollo, meanwhile, hasn’t even touched any of the supplies you had laid out, continuing to stare in confusion. It’s kind of cute, but you would never tell him that.

“I still don’t understand what I’m supposed to be doing here.”

He sighs, moving his hand to pick up a pencil, but that’s all he does. You put down your own craft, looking at him.

You explain that he can do whatever. It’s just supposed to be something silly and fun, nothing serious. If he keeps overthinking it, he’s ruining the whole point of this activity.

“I know I’m overthinking it. I just… it’s been a long time since I’ve done something so… childish.”

That makes you smile, and you gently take his hand. You reassure him that it’s okay, and that he can do whatever he wants, even if that means just sitting here and watching you craft.

“No, no, I’ll do something. I just can’t think of anything.”

Despite his words, he goes to pick up a sheet of paper, using the pencil he���s still holding to begin doodling. You decide not to look, giving him at least a small bit of privacy to be creative.

In the meantime, you focus on your own craft, trying to salvage the paper dolls. It’s still not going very well, but you’re determined to make them look at least semi-decent.

The two of you sit in silence as you work, and it’s quite comfortable indeed. The only sounds come from your scissors and his pencil. It’s obvious to you that Rollo is finally getting into it, and that makes you happy.

After a while, you notice him put his pencil down, meaning he must be finished. You’ve given up on the paper dolls, which have been reduced to paper scraps littered about the table. You’ll have to practice more.

You look up at him, asking what it is he was drawing. He looks rather focused, and you would be lying if you said you weren’t curious.

“It’s nothing much. I doubt you’d like it.”

Well that only makes you want to see it more. You lean across the table, giving him the biggest puppy eyes you can as you ask him if you can see it.

“Fine, but I don’t want to hear about it. I’m aware that my skills are rather… lacking.”

He hands the paper over to you, and you sit back down properly as you look at the page. At first, you were expecting something silly or badly drawn, and you were more than ready to (lovingly) bully him.

Instead, you see the most gorgeous drawing you’ve ever seen. It’s a portrait of you trying to make your paper dolls, and it’s very detailed. Is this how he sees you? As someone who looks this beautiful? The thought makes you blush, and you gently hand him back the drawing.

“Well? No snarky remark this time?”

You mumble something about it being a good drawing, too embarrassed to properly look him in the eyes. It takes him a second to connect the dots, but it doesn’t take him long to connect the dots.

“Ah, I see. I take it you like my drawing a bit more than you’re letting on?”

It’s rare for him to tease you, but it’s always a critical hit when he does. Your face feels like it’s on fire, and you slump down onto the table to hide just how flustered you are, mumbling something he can’t quite hear.

He leans over and pats you on the head, and that makes you feel a bit better. You can hear him shifting, and when you look up, he’s standing over you, holding out the picture to you.

“Take it back to NRC. That way you’ll have something of mine to keep in your dorm.”

You take the drawing, smiling up at him. He can be so adorable when he wants to be. Before you stand up, you cast one more forlorn look at your attempt at paper dolls, and you bow to him that, the next time you see him in person, you’ll have mastered the art of paper doll making.

“I’m sure you will. I look forward to seeing them.”

[f1amboyant]

↻ pick a fic and a different ship and I’ll tell you how I’d rewrite it for: The Worst Alpha and carcar:)

✄ what’s your editing process? (i loooove hearing about people's writing and editing processes)

✦ what was your easiest fic to write & your hardest?

💕💕

Hiiii, thank you for the ask 💕

-> ask me more

✄ what’s your editing process?

Interesting question! I'm gonna answer with my writing process a bit, because both are intertwined (and you said you love hearing about writing process, too 🫣)

So for short fics (under 2k I would say), I mostly write the whole thing in one or 2 sittings, with no plan, just an idea in my head. And when it's done I edit multiple times. A first reread to adjust some details here and there, make a few sentences flow better. And then I do a spelling check, with 2 different softwares because English is not my first language so I want to get it covered.

For longer fics, I plan the whole story, I plan the chapters, I plan the scenes. Then I write scene by scene, usually in order. For each scene, I first write it very badly. I write the scene, fast and bad, not caring about beautiful sentences. The idea is just to put words on the page and to block the scene (like in movies). When this part is done, I go back and I edit a first time, going over all this poorly written scene to write beautiful sentences (or as beautiful as I can do), to make it readable, basically. Then, since it's a long fic and that some ideas might have pop up in the middle of nothing, I do one or 2 full reread, to adjust everything, make sure everything is coherent, make sure the character doesn't realise he is in love 3 times in 3 different chapters, go back to foreshadow an idea that popped in a later chapter, things like that. And then I can do a spell check on each chapter and that's it! ✨

✦ what was your easiest fic to write & your hardest?

Easiest: Corset ~ The words just flew out of me, and it greatly helped that @moossings worked on their drawing at the same time as I wrote, so I just had to put their sketches into words and that was so much fun.

Hardest: Steal your art (and your heart) ~ The first chapters were so much fun and so easy to write, I wasn't prepared for the enormous block that fell on me halfway through it. Writing the last chapters was so so hard, for no particular reason. I was lucky I had my dear @drspleenmeister writing with me 🫶

↻ pick a fic and a different ship and I’ll tell you how I’d rewrite it for: The Worst Alpha and carcar:)

Oooooooh, that's an interesting one. The Worst Alpha is omagaverse charlos, with alpha Charles experiencing omega Carlos' heat for the first time and having a whole crisis about if he is or not a good alpha. And truly, I think Oscar would fit that role pretty well too.

Oscar is an Alpha who grew with omega sisters. He knows what it is to be an omega. In theory. But he's never been with an omega. So it's all pretty new. And also, he has this massive crush on Carlos, because damn, have you seen that man?? Oscar was doomed from the start. But he's trying to act like a good alpha and not get overbearing with the omega he fancies, so he stays mostly away.

Then Lando shenanigans, probably. Maybe Lando does it on purpose or maybe not, but it makes Carlos and Oscar meet. Maybe, Carlos is in heat, and he usually goes to omega Lando for comfort during his heat but Lando isn't answering. And when Carlos goes to Lando's room, he finds Oscar there because Oscar is waiting for Lando to return too (maybe Lando asked him over and then forgot, or something like that).

It hits Oscar. The smell. Powerful. And so so sweet. Mouthwatering. Oscar is losing his fucking mind.

"Oh sorry, I thought this was Lando's room."

"You're in heat."

"Pff, this guy," Carlos huffs. "I know, that's why I'm looking for Lando."

"He's not here," Oscar answers unhelpfully, but his brain is completely fried. There's Carlos in the room with him. Carlos in heat. Oscar is gonna die.

"Well, tell him to call me if you see him."

Carlos starts to leave but Oscar stops him.

"Do you need help? With your heat? Until Lando comes back," Oscar offers.

"Sure." Carlos has never been with an Alpha before but this one smells pretty nice and also, he is tired of waiting for Lando, so why not? He's not afraid of a little Alpha rookie.

So they spend a little time together, in Lando's room. It's awkward as fuck. Carlos borrows a hoodie from Lando and sits on the couch, to play some game. Oscar stays with him and offers to help, getting him heat supplies that he steals from Lando (he doesn't care). He doesn't really know what to do, how to feel. It's never been like that in his family. Oscar is a pretty decent Alpha, but he never had to fight the urge to bend this Omega in half and fuck him senseless. But yeah, that's what's happening now. He is losing his mind.

He keeps his wit enough to half ass taking care of Carlos until Lando comes back and saves them from the awkwardness. Except after that Oscar can't stop thinking about it, can't stop thinking about Carlos. If he had a crush before, this gets to another level entirely because now, he knows what Carlos in heat smells like and it's too much for him. Too much to stay away. So he tries to get close, to court him very awkwardly (and never saying officially it is courting). And maybe in his quest to get closer to Carlos, he also crashes with him on track a little too much (oops 🤭).

They're not exactly becoming friends but they're getting closer. And Carlos isn't entirely immune to this awkward Alpha who's courting him, without courting him. It's cute. And he likes him more and more.

So his next heat, he doesn't go to Lando, he goes to see Oscar (Oscar once again losing his fucking mind as he refrains all instincts to fuck/mate/breed with the beautiful Omega). And again and again. They spend more time together, spending heats together. But nothing happens. They just cuddle a little, play games. They talk too, getting to know each other.

Until Carlos says he would like to try spending his heat having sex, because it can be fun and a very good time (Oscar definitely loses his mind at that). They almost kiss already, just talking about it, grinding against each other (Oscar is losing his mind, definitely). They agree to have sex next heat.

Next heat comes. Oscar is beyond excited, he cannot wait to be with Carlos again. But he sees Carlos with another Alpha (Charles, or Max, maybe). And the two are not flirting exactly, but they are not keeping their distance either. And with Carlos being in pre-heat, this could really be courting.

Oscar is devastated. He thought he was a good Alpha, but apparently he's the worst because Carlos is choosing someone else, and why wouldn't he choose someone else. So Oscar spirals out of him mind, while Carlos' heat hits and it's way stronger than before and without Oscar there to help him, Carlos is losing his mind too but for a whole other reason.

So a little bit of misunderstanding, and an intervention from Lando before they finally get together and it's all better, it's all okay. And their first time is awkward as fuck but so hot and Oscar is the worst Alpha but he doesn't care because apparently, Carlos loves it (him).

[kylethescott]

NaruHina: Minor Edits

I have no other platform for this, so I’ll just put it here and maybe someone will enjoy it. I really love NaruHina, it brings me great joy knowing that it’s canon and has done for the last decade.. People will often say that it’s “badly written” and I don’t agree with that. I mean I think there’s a good reason people started shipping it in the first place, but I do have my frustrations with how some of it plays out.

I want to approach this like Pedro Pascal - Maxwell Lord: “Life is good, but it can be better!” My goal is not to massively rewrite the entire series, but take what we’ve got and talk it over and see how we can improve it with just a few minor tweaks, because I really do think the foundations are solid. Also just disclosing my biases, Hinata is my favourite character in the entire series, something I have talked about in much more detail elsewhere.

So without further adieu, let’s just get into this.

Part 1

I wouldn’t change a goddamn thing in Part 1. I genuinely think Part 1 lays out a really solid foundation for a romantic subplot. The story draws a bunch of direct parallels between Naruto and Hinata that are critical for each character's growth, we see how they help each other and support each other. First Naruto cheers her on in her fight, and then Hinata gives him the confidence before the finals. During which we also see that Hinata is someone Naruto feels comfortable enough around to talk about his deepest insecurities, which is extremely rare for him to do in Part 1. 

NaruHina is built on a classic romance trope: “opposites attract”. Naruto is loud, Hinata is Quiet. He’s rude, she’s polite. He’s overconfident, she’s underconfident. Even just visually, she’s blue and purple, he’s orange and yellow. The reason this dynamic works so well in stories is that they balance each other out. Each of them brings something to the table that the other person needs. 

Hinata needs someone in her corner who can give her confidence, Naruto needs someone in his corner who can see his vulnerability. Together they become stronger, that’s what the best romantic stories are built on, and Part 1 nails that. I think Part 1 also makes some interesting contrasts between Naruto’s relationship with Hinata and his relationship with Sakura, the girl he spends the entirety of part 1 pursuing. 

We now have the benefit of looking at Naruto (the story not the character) as a complete package, obviously that wasn’t true at the time it came out. But if we factor in what The Last will eventually reveal about Naruto’s crush on Sakura, that it’s completely superficial, I think Part 1 actually backs that up pretty well. 

His only interest in Sakura, especially at the beginning of the series, is that he thinks she’s pretty. How could it be anything else when she treats him like absolute dirt. I think the bench scene, while a bit weird, demonstrates Naruto’s complete lack of understanding of romance or love. He was totally fine with kissing her while disguised as Sasuke, after she’d just shit talked him right to his face. This is not a boy who understands what love is.  

(just to get ahead of this, I am by no means a Sakura hater, I do think there’s a lot of problems with the way Sakura is written which we’ll have to get into, but on a basic character level I think Sakura is fine.)

The only addition I would make to Part 1 has already been made, it’s the 100+ episodes of filler everyone skips. These arcs range massively in quality, I will not dispute that, but I like their existence in the story because to me it makes Naruto’s friendships with all the other genin feel more natural. We get to see them bonding by seeing them out on a whole bunch of missions together where they get to know each other better. I think even if you don’t watch them, just knowing that’s a thing enhances the bonds. 

For our purposes, there’s some genuinely great NaruHina stuff in there. Like Hinata finally being able to showcase her strength to Naruto, or the “you’ll make a great wife” line, and just a bunch of other cute moments that I’ll happily accept into my personal canon. (I always see people say that the anime studio shipped NaruSaku, but I don’t really get that because the filler for Part 1 is full of completely explicit NaruHina moments, I digress.)

Early Shippuden

(we’re classing “Early Shippuden” as everything up to Pain’s Invasion)

Now I would never want to accuse Kishimoto of playing favourites with his side characters…but this is a man who once said in an interview that if he were to date any of his characters it would be Shikamaru. No hate on Shikamaru, I love him, but the fact that he gets an entire story arc all to himself while the rest of the side cast all get to beg for table scraps is…well it’s frustrating to say the least. Not because that arc is bad but because I so wish other characters could get the same treatment, especially Hinata. 

What we get from Hinata in early Shippuden is pretty much just cameo’s, she shows up at the start of the Tenchi Bridge arc to faint and then she shows up during the Itachi Pursuit arc to just kinda stand in the background. I don’t think either of these are necessarily bad, but they could be improved. 

The fainting. Let’s talk about the fainting. In both the Manga and the Anime this is pretty much just a gag, and as a gag…ehh?…it’s fine. I personally just find it more frustrating than funny. But it wouldn’t take too much to make it an actual character moment and the best way to do that is to change the reason she faints. 

As it stands she just faints from shock because it’s been 2.5 years since she’s seen Naruto and he gets up in her face. My suggestion is to change it so that it’s actually something on Naruto’s end that causes her to faint. She can still be all nervous to come up and talk to him, but the reason for her fainting should be because Naruto makes some comment about how she’s “gotten really pretty” or something along those lines.

By adding a line like that you change it from a basic “oh no my crush is here!” fainting to a “Oh my god my crush thinks I’m pretty!!!!” fainting, which makes it feel a little more earned as a moment. This also makes it a more significant moment for Naruto, it would show that he thinks Hinata is pretty. Which while not essential to a romantic subplot is a pretty basic thing to get out there. If you want to go all in you can have him be taken aback slightly by her appearance. 

And you can still play into the joke of his ignorance by having him not understand why she’s freaking out over a simple compliment. Threading the needle between showing that Naruto has romantic feelings for Hinata, while also showing that he’s still not emotionally mature enough to recognise those feelings is a fine line to walk, but I think this change would do a lot to help. 

It’s still a gag, ultimately, but now it’s a gag that also signals a change in their dynamic from something that’s more explicitly romantic. 

As for the Itachi arc… I don’t know. Ultimately that entire arc really doesn’t have much going on for Naruto and the crew, it’s a Sasuke arc, so Hinata not having a lot of time in there is fine. I do think however I would slot the Three Tails arc from the anime into canon. I think that arc is genuinely pretty good and well placed in the story as a last hurrah for Orichimaru as a main villain and his particular vibe of mad scientist villany. 

I would make Hinata a little more prominent in that arc (let my girl win a fight damn it!), and just in general have a few more interactions between her and Naruto that showcase that Naruto does like hanging out with her even if he doesn’t understand his reasons why. Yamato sets up a big house in that arc that they all end up camping in, so maybe just a scene or two of Naruto telling her stories of his adventures with her listening intently and laughing at his jokes. 

Pain Invasion

You can probably already guess where my edit goes in this arc, but I will say that all of the confession stuff is great, absolutely iconic stuff. I think the anime takes the win here by expanding the fight scene, but also by adding the flashbacks to Naruto saving Hinata from bullies as a kid. I think that throughline really adds to the scene (and I also prefer that version of the scene to the one we see in The Last). 

It is absolutely cuckoo bananas that Naruto does not say anything to Hinata after he comes back to the village. Even from a basic narrative perspective, let alone as a romance, it’s insane that there’s no follow up. Hinata’s self sacrifice causes Naruto to break the 9-tails seal! It’s an absolutely pivotal moment of characterisation for him even ignoring the romantic implications. The fact that we just don’t address it at all until The Last boggles my mind to this day. 

Here’s my edit: everything happens as it does originally right up until the hug with Sakura, during that hug Naruto catches sight of Hinata over Sakura’s shoulder’s and immediately runs to give her an obviously much more intimate hug, patting her down and making sure that she’s okay, then finally relaxing when he’s sure that she is. Then you can get back to all the village hero stuff. (It honestly feels out of character to me that Naruto doesn’t check in on her as soon as he gets back.) 

We’re talking like 3 panels here, a page maybe, but it would wrap the whole thing up so much neater. I think the hug from Sakura is a…fine moment? But I think if it was contrasted by his actions towards Hinata like this it would be a clear signal to the audience that his crush with Sakura is over, and this is the actual relationship of the story. 

This wouldn’t and shouldn’t lead directly into a romantic relationship, I’m actually fine with Naruto not understanding the love confession fully, but there’s simply no way that it shouldn’t change his relationship with Hinata at all. Even if Naruto doesn’t realise he’s falling in love, it should at least be clear to the audience that he is, especially as we go into the next arc.

Five Kage Summit

“But Kyle! Hinata isn’t even in this arc!” Yes, exactly, that’s the problem. Let’s just look at the scenario presented in this arc:

In a short span of time, Naruto has received two love confessions. One is from the girl he’s always claimed to love, and is completely false. One is from a girl he’s never considered that way, and is completely genuine. If you’re trying to write a romance story, and you’ve just come up with this, you should kiss yourself on the mouth because you’ve just forced your main character to do some serious reevaluation about what he actually wants and who he actually wants to be with…in theory anyway! 

In practice, Sakura's fake love confession is just a waste of absolutely everyone's time. It never comes up again and Naruto never does any kind of reflection on it at all. I know Naruto is dense, I understand that and I love him for it. But come on, even he isn’t emotionally stunted enough to not put two and two together here… right?

It also might be my least favourite scene in the entire series? There’s just no way of reading it where Sakura doesn’t come across as a massive self centred narcissist, especially because it’s such a poorly thought out plan? (Like really Sakura, what are you going to do if he buys this? Date him forever? Quietly dump him after a few months of slumming it? What’s your endgame here, hun?)

But mostly I just can’t believe that the story puts two love confessions right next to each other like this and never once draws any kind of comparison between them. They’re just supposed to be treated as completely isolated scenes, it feels like it should be against the rules or something. 

So, there’s two potential edits here, one is to do what I suggested and have this be a moment of reflection for Naruto where he starts to consider Hinata in a more explicitly romantic light. Or, the option I prefer, just cut this scene. It adds little and detracts massively from Sakura’s character. (I could get massively derailed on a Sakura rewrite here so let’s just leave it there for now.)

On a lighter note I think this period in time presents an fun opportunity which the series never explores. Which is we’re now at a point where Hinata is confident in herself but not actively pursuing a relationship with Naruto, and Naruto is developing feelings for her that he doesn’t yet understand. So what you can do now is flip their dynamic from Part 1 where now it’s Naruto being all awkward and shy around Hinata. 

The best opportunity to explore that would be to have Hinata tag along on Naruto’s training trip with Bee, there’s plenty of opportunities for some cute moments there, and she can still go and join the war later like Guy does, but maybe that change is just me being self indulgent. 

The War

I’m mostly fine with everything that happens during the war, I don’t love Neji’s death but thats got way more to do with how the Hyuga are just kinda dropped from the plot after Part 1, rather than NaruHina specifically, I think as a NaruHina moment it’s solid. It’s another point on the list where Hinata is there to support Naruto at an emotional low point, but this time on more equal footing, holding hands is pretty much the exact symbolism for mutual support. 

I love that Kiba teases Naruto for showing off in front of Hinata, because I think it’s funny that Naruto and Hinata are the last people to notice that Naruto has feelings for Hinata. On the other hand, the whole thing where Minato asks if Sakura is Naruto’s girlfriend is just very weird, especially since it comes after the Hand holding thing. 

One the one hand I kind of like it, because it’s just such a dad thing to ask. On the other hand Naruto’s answer at this point really just should be a flat “no”. But instead he still fumbles over his words as if he still has any interest in Sakura at this point which I just don’t think is true, they’ve definitely moved into a more sibling like relationship by this point. 

I would’ve liked it if after the Infinite Tsukuyomi is released Naruto checked up on Hinata, especially when he was ready to charge out and rescue her the second he sensed her call out to him, but there’s so much other stuff going on by that point in the story I understand why we didn’t get to see that. I can infer that it probably happened at some point. 

Don’t get me wrong, I have major problems with the War arc and how it’s constructed (primarily that it’s just way too long) but as far as NaruHina is concerned I think it’s mostly solid. 

The Last

I mean full disclosure, I love this movie, obviously. I’ve been a NaruHina shipper from day 1 so this movie was like exactly everything I wanted. I think the problems with the movie, and definitely the problems some people lay out against it don’t have much to do with the movie itself and more to do with the audience's knowledge going into it.

Basically, if you ship NaruHina before going into the movie, you’re golden. If you don't, the movie does a pretty bad job of convincing you otherwise, and that’s not the movie's fault, it’s the rest of the story's fault for not making it clear enough that Naruto loves Hinata. Subtle hints and little nods are only really effective if you’re predisposed to shipping. If you’re not then the story up to this point has really not made it obvious enough. 

I think the idea that the movie tries to convey, that Naruto doesn’t understand the difference between platonic love and romantic love makes perfect sense for everything we know about him as a character, but what the movie doesn’t convey is that Naruto did have those romantic feelings all along, he just didn’t understand them. So my minor edit to the memory scene is just to make that more obvious. 

Include a montage of Naruto watching himself hanging out with Hinata, and lingering specifically on the fact that Naruto is always happy around her, I think adding that alone would solidify what the movie is trying to convey in that scene. I would also suggest that it should be more apparent that Naruto and Hinata are pretty much already dating before the movie even begins. This is kind of implied in the movie and certainly hinted at in some of the light novels, but just make it more obvious in the movie. 

They’re really close friends in that way where everyone else in the group just sort of assumes they’re already dating, But Hinata’s too nervous to actually make a move and Naruto’s too dense to. That’s already the conflict of the movie. Just make it more clear that this has been the state of affairs for a while. These are minor things, ultimately, I did say that I love this movie, it’s the fairytale romance of my dreams for these two characters and I wouldn’t want it any other way. 

And that about wraps it up! There are some people who think critiquing or analysing the romance in Naruto is pointless because it’s a fighting anime for boys, but I would retort that romance is woven throughout the entirety of the series from the get go. I mean the series ends with a romance movie, it’s weird to suggest that it’s only a minor part of the series. 

And I genuinely don’t think Kishimoto is terrible at it, even if he himself thinks he is. I think he had a lot of good ideas, he just wasn’t quite sure how to bring them all together, but the best of his moments are the parts that unite romance with the fighting, like with Pain, or during the war, that’s why romance is a completely valid part of shonen. 

I hope you’ve found this ramble entertaining, this is not the sort of thing I usually do but it’s been stuck in my mind, so there we have it.

[hannahssimblr]

“I do. You always look pretty. Every time I see you, I think that.”

With this, she bursts into a flood of fresh tears. “Oh God, you’re so nice.”

“Look, I know this isn’t helpful, probably, but if things were different, if I wasn’t leaving, then maybe… maybe things would have turned out another way. I know you don’t think much of yourself, but I think you’re a great person. You’re really sweet and sensitive and talented and you make me laugh, and from my point of view anyway, you light up every room you walk into. Whoever the next person is that gets to be with you is lucky.”

“But it won’t be you.” Her mouth is so down-turned at the edges that she looks almost cartoony. Those looks are one thing I will miss most about her. If I were lucky enough to know her for longer, I think I’d fill a hundred sketchbooks just drawing the expressive shapes of her face.

I simply shake my head, and my arms are outstretched and ready to catch her as she falls into them for another round of sobs. There’s nothing I can do. I learned this a long time ago. Sometimes all you can do is hold someone until they’re ready to be let go again. I’ve spent whole nights holding Ivy like this, and I’ll spend hours with Evie if it’s what she needs.

Into her hair, I murmur an admission I have never made to another person. “Leaving is going to be so horrible. Sometimes I can’t think too much about it. Like, I know I won’t be that far away, but it’s going to change everything. I have amazing friends here that will be so hard to leave behind. And my family, obviously. I have a sister who’s nine. Ivy. She’s in that stage where she’s obsessed with me. She wants to do everything I do… Jesus, it’s going to be rough. I’ve never lived away from home before. I don’t really know how to be a functioning adult who, like, pays electricity bills.”

“It will be hard at first, but then eventually it will be really good,” she sniffles. “You’ll meet all these cool new people and you’ll forget all about everyone here.”

“Is that your way of telling yourself that I’ll forget about you, too?”

“You will.” 

“I won’t. We’ll still be friends. I’m not great at keeping up with people, and I don’t use Facebook that much…”

“So you’re saying we’ll be friends, like, on a symbolic level, but we’ll never actually talk to each other ever again.”

I laugh. “Shut up and let me finish before you start getting cross with me. I’ll email you. Old school, like.”

“Hm. That will be nice, like sending letters.”

“Exactly.”

She squeezes me, and I squeeze her back, gazing down at her face, red nose and smudged makeup, and I still think she’s the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen in real life. “How are you doing?”

“Very badly.”

“Well, one day, you won’t care about me at all. And maybe when you go to college, in like a few months, a year, or after that, you’ll look back on this and think ‘oh, ew, I can’t believe that when I was seventeen, I liked that lanky guy with the weird accent. That was so embarrassing.’ And you’ll wonder why you ever cried over this at all.”

Her face becomes fierce, like she wants to be serious, but it’s hard not to smile when she sticks her lip out like that. If I was being stupider, I might like to push my thumb into that crease between her eyebrows. “You don’t have a weird accent.” She insists. “Well, okay, you do, but I like it. And there’s nobody on earth that’d be embarrassed to have ever liked you.” 

“Okay, Evie.” I chuckle. “Lets see how you feel in a year.”

“A year?”

“Yeah, one year from now, I’ll email you, like I will every single week, mind, and you’ll roll your eyes and think, ‘oh God, him again?’ I’d be willing to bet on it.”

“You underestimate my feelings.”

She overestimates them, more likely, because we’re young and stupid and that’s just what we do, but it’s fine. She’ll learn, like I did with Michelle and all the girls that came before her, that the things that feel raw and real in the moment, the people you swear you’ll spend your life loving and wanting and missing, you forget them in the end.  

We lapse into silence as the grasshoppers chirp in the long grass. The cleaner comes by to pick some of the rubbish nearby and makes small talk with me about various happenings at the festival. Ignoring Evie, firmly locked in my arms with her damp cheek against my chest.

When he finishes, and the rubbish is gone, and the music in the distance goes silent, it is just us and the insects and the blanket of dew, and the smell of lingering summer in the air. Evie shivers, and I draw back to look into her sad little face.

“Are you cold?”

“No.”

“I think you are.”

She smiles, and her teeth chatter. “If I say so, then you’ll make me go back to the tent.”

“We have to go back eventually, don’t we?” I take the opportunity to stretch out one of my legs, which is cramping. “What time is it?”

“Don’t care.”

“It’s got to be… I don’t know. You can see the sun rising a bit.”

“If we leave, then it’s over,” she whispers.

I murmur, “It’s over, anyway.”

Green eyes skim my face in one last pursuit of a truth they won’t find. And then she sighs with resignation. “You’re leaving.”

“Yeah, I’m going away.”

“It’s just sad.”

“Of course. For me too.” And I’m not sure there’s much left to say. “Come on. Let’s just end this day.”

She doesn’t protest. Climbing to our feet, we make our way back towards the campsite, hand in hand. Though she’s not my girlfriend and never will be, it feels good to pretend while I can.

It’s lights out in our circle, embers smouldering in a campfire that we missed, and someone’s, Joe’s, Kasper’s, snores float from their tent. Evie’s is wet with morning dew as I unzip it for her with the same chivalry as any man opening a door for a lady. She shuffles inside, and the moonlight shows up the goosebumps on her arms and legs. Claire is not inside, her shoes stacked neatly outside Shane’s tent instead.

Evie grabs my wrist before I zip her inside. “Do you want to come and stay with me?” She whispers. “We won’t do anything. I just think it’d be nicer than being alone.”

We will do something. I’ve been a teenage boy for long enough to know the score, and tempting as it is to have one final, movie-magic experience with her to round off the summer, I know it is different for her than it is for me.

I shake my head. “Not a good idea, Evie. Sorry. Goodnight.”

The last thing I see is the dismay on her face before I zip her inside the tent, and head for my own.

There is Jen, cocooned in her sleeping bag. She stirs as I fumble with my clothes.

“You’re back,” her voice cracks with sleep. I ignore her, as the anger I felt for her in the woods resurfaces with a vengeance. My heart thuds with the memory.

“What time is it?” she says, and again, I say nothing. I struggle into bed and turn my back to her.

“Jude?”

“Talk to me in the morning.” I whisper sharply, and I shut my eyes, willing away the heaviness of the day, and all the things I know are still to come. 

Beginning // Prev // Next

Corresponding LG Chapter

[weirdkpopgirl]

Dark Hours | Mark Imagine #3

Title: Dark Hours

Genre: Angst

Warnings: mentions of past self-harm, reader has a breakdown (yay)

Word Count: 594

Author's Note: Am I crazy for writing this at midnight and posting it an hour and a half later? Yeah, especially when I have a million other things to do. This was an idea that I just really wanted to get out, and I thought it was also a good opportunity to post something for Mark. I truly hope this story comforts anyone who is going through a hard time ^ ^

P.S. I am currently working on a few fics for different 7Dream members. In the meantime, I will try my best to post small things like this when I can!

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Mark quietly entered the mostly dark bedroom, where the only light came from the distant city lights filtering through the window shades. As he switched on his lamp, he was surprised to discover that you were still awake at this hour. You lay on your side of the bed, just as you always did. But your gaze seemed distant as it fixated on the ceiling above. In Mark's eyes, you looked so beautiful, yet so burdened by the invisible chains of your mind. He longed to free you from their grasp. But he knew it wasn’t that easy. 

Without a word, he slipped beneath the deep blue covers and gently tugged you closer into his embrace. The warmth emanating from his body provided a stark contrast to the chill of your skin. Mark hoped to share his warmth physically. But he also wanted to share it emotionally.

Neither of you said anything and lay beside each other in silence. Then you felt the touch of Mark’s fingers tenderly tracing the faded pink and white scars on your thigh. Despite your legs being concealed beneath the comforter, he managed to find the textured lines etched across your bare skin. 

Another two minutes of silence passed before Mark sensed your body beginning to tremble. It was then that he locked eyes with you, and they were brimming with tears.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, worried he had done something wrong.

You cringed internally as your voice quivered when you whispered, “I’m sorry for hiding this from you for so long.”

“(Y/n)...” His lips parted, but for once he was at a loss for words.

The fact that he had only learned about this secret of yours earlier this week—after being together almost a year, weighed heavily in his thoughts. To only imagine that you had been suffering for so long, without anyone to guide you was deeply troubling to him. He wished so badly that he could’ve been with you during those dark hours.

Attempting to blink away the tears, you paused before confessing, “I just... I was afraid you'd look at me differently if you knew.”

Mark’s heart broke when he heard you say this. He moved his hand to gently cup the side of your face, guiding your eyes to meet his. 

“Hey, those scars don't change how I feel about you, okay?” he reassured, his words resonating with sincerity. “I love you, (Y/n), every part of you.”

Unable to suppress your emotions any longer, you sobbed into his shoulder, your tears likely staining his shirt. Mark didn't hesitate to draw you closer and gently stroke your hair as you wept.

“You’re not alone anymore, (Y/n),” he whispered, “I’ll help you heal, and we’ll get through your darkest hours together.”

Eventually, your tears slowed and your body gradually stopped shaking. Mark used his thumb to gently wipe your cheek. You’ve never felt more grateful to have someone by your side.

With his thumb, he wiped away any lingering tears, and in response, you released a heavy sigh. “I love you so much,” you whispered. You could say those words over and over again.

Mark smiled a little before leaning in for a deep, slow kiss. “I love you more than words can express.”

The two of you instinctively snuggled closer, closing any remaining distance between the two of you. In the warmth of that moment, you both found solace in each other's arms, knowing that your love would conquer any darkness that life might throw your way.

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